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Band 7.5

some people think that the government should take care of disadvantaged people such as unemployed and homeless people. do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #care
There are people who think that the authority are the one to be responsible to look after needy individuals
such
 as sleeplessness and out of work people.
First
 of all, our society is made of every other individual and it is important that everyone is treated equally, especially for moneyless civilians.
However
, many people think that the state is the one to be in charge,
therefore
 providing aid to people facing difficulties. And indeed, if the union does not support our population’s needs many civilians will begin to suffer higher levels of difficulties.
Furthermore
, living rough people should try to seek life improvement by themselves too.
For instance
, I believe the day ahead is different and much more opportunities are there.
However
, if every individual put an effort to change what they are not content with
such
 as, financial aspects, living life conditions or the country that they are living in
thus
, making movements investing in their inner will
to begin
 a new lifestyle could indeed solve various issues faced by people living on the streets and
this
 would be without regime’s reliance.
Moreover
, by finding a way to make money needy people will not need to rely on authority benefits. Overall, I partly agree that the politics have to support destitute people by granting them job opportunity because I believe that it is
also
 possible to enhance homeless lives by their own self’s effort.
Therefore
, getting up early every morning to find a job and thereby saving money to make new plans for the future.
Submitted by Guilherme Orioli on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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