More and more people are suffering from health problems caused by a modern life style which cannot be treated with modern medicines. Some people think that a return to traditional medicine should be encouraged. To what extent do you agree?

#people #health #life #style #medicines #medicine

Nowadays the modern life style has affected people's well being

dramatically

Suggestion

dramatic

dramatized

dramatised

and modern treatments are not helpful. It is argued that applying traditional treatments may be more efficient and should be replaced. I firmly believe that the latter idea can be more beneficial. Modern medical science is mostly based on chemistry and

therefore

the prescribed drugs are all made up of chemicals.

Although

these chemicals are tested and aimed

Suggestion

treating certain diseases, their side effects can lead to other illnesses.

For

example some

Accept comma addition

example, some

tablets which can stop acne, can cause

sever

intensely or extremely bad or unpleasant in degree or quality

severe

kidney problems.

Hence

the drawbacks that outweigh the advantages brings up

this

issue that they are not an appropriate treatment.

On the other hand

traditional treatments which are totally comprised of natural and organic elements are gaining more popularity.

Indeed not

Accept comma addition

Indeed, not

only are they tested over

years but

Accept comma addition

years, but

they

also

have less

harms

Suggestion

harm

to the body.

For

instance Chinese

Accept comma addition

instance, Chinese

are amongst the countries who are mostly dependent on traditional medicine and are regarded one of the

healtheiest

having or indicating good health in body or mind; free from infirmity or disease

healthiest

wealthiest

nations. So it can be concluded that encouraging

trafitional

consisting of or derived from tradition

traditional

treatment can solve the health problem due to modern

life style

a manner of living that reflects the person's values and attitudes

lifestyle

. To sum up

refers to the speaker or writer

am convinced that to deal with the health problems stemming from the modern

life style

a manner of living that reflects the person's values and attitudes

lifestyle

, it is best to focus on using old medications

instead

of therapies based on modern chemical drugs.

Submitted by Fateme on Fri Jul 17 2020

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

225 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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More and more people are suffering from health problems caused by a modern life style which cannot be treated with modern medicines. Some people think that a return to traditional medicine should be encouraged. To what extent do you agree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

“Fatherhood ought to be emphasised as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies leads on to the idea that they are also responsible for bringing the children up.” To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, there is a push to get as many young people going to university as possible. To what extent do you think this effort is a worthwhile one? Do you think some people can benefit from not going to university?

Friendships can be very meaningful and special, but also very complicated. What are the qualities of a great friend? What are some things that can weaken a close relationship over time?

Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others, however, say that cooperation and team working skills are more important. Discuss both sides.