Some people believe money is a less important factor than free time for quality of life. What other factors are necessary to live a good quality of lifestyle?

#people #money #factor #time #quality #life #factors #lifestyle

It is presumed by certain sets of societies that leisure time is more important than having a colossal sum of

money

to lead a

life

filled with complacency;

however I

Accept comma addition

However, I

However I

stand

with

Suggestion

the fact that other factors like reputed as well as satisfied job, a healthy

lifestyle

and a happy long lasting relationship with near and dear ones are

also

considered to have a worthwhile living. To embark with, undoubtedly, in

this

contemporary era, a good quality of

lifestyle

is not attained without

money

. For the elite class people,

lifestyle

is meant to be having a big mansion to live, a long car to ride and attending A-one parties. They get these all materialistic things with the

money

. As

money

is an asset for them to

pursuit

Suggestion

pursue

the happiness in their own way and to spend a luxurious

lifestyle

Nevertheless

, it does not mean that the middle class people with little earnings are not spending a good living.

For instance

, the naval officer is happy about his job despite of little earnings. What he desires to feel is utmost satisfaction and recognition, without having an urge in himself to getting more and more

money

. Marching ahead, the other numerous factors like a healthy

lifestyle

and strong relationship with family and friends cannot be denied to live a

good

Suggestion

better

quality of

lifestyle

. There is a Mongolian proverb that "Most important happiness in human's

life

is its health". Being robust and healthy in all means (socially, mentally and physically) can ultimately lead the

life happiness

Accept comma addition

life, happiness

to reach at the authentic pinnacle and to enjoy the stupendous fruition.

For example

, a healthy and sound person can live longer and enjoy

good

Suggestion

a better lifestyle

better lifestyle

lifestyle

as compare to the one who is indulged into myriad illnesses.

Also

, love and affection with the family and friends can lead the person to live happy and satisfied

life

. To quote an instance, socialization is an imperative factor to achieve

healthy

Suggestion

a healthy lifestyle

lifestyle

and those who spend their leisure time with friends, family and

neighbors

a person who lives (or is located) near another

neighbours

are more likely to spend

joyful

Suggestion

a joyful life

life

than the others who are self-

centered

being or placed in the center

centred

. To reiterate,

money

is important up to some extent to live a good

lifestyle

, but other factors

also

have a crucial place in everybody’s

life

. Ergo, quality of

life

depends on many factors and all of them have their essential role in human beings'

lifestyle

Submitted by payal on Fri Jul 17 2020

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

392 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Some people believe money is a less important factor than free time for quality of life. What other factors are necessary to live a good quality of lifestyle?

Fully explain your ideas

There is a problem in your street. Write a letter to the local town council explaining who you are, what the problem is and what you hope will be done about it.

Some people think that children who spend a lot of time reading storybooks are wasting their time which could be better used doing other more useful activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The ownership of private vehicles is increasing day by day. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this increase.

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sport facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Topic: The unlimited use of cars may cause many problems. What are those problems? In order to reduce the problems, should we discourage people to use cars ?