IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Discuss both views & give your opinion essay, Topic: Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of the society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some individuals think that
parents
Use synonyms
 are responsible for teaching
children
Use synonyms
 how to be good members of the community,
however
Linking Words
, others argue that it must be learned in school
instead
Linking Words
. I believe that both parties should be the source of excellent social behaviours of each child.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
parents
Use synonyms
 are considered the primary educators of kids, it is their job to influence their child in a good way.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, since
children
Use synonyms
 mostly stay with their
parents
Use synonyms
 at home, it is essential that what they see from their
parents
Use synonyms
 are only behaviours that are appropriate.
For instance
Linking Words
, show kids how to respect elders
such
Linking Words
 as their grandparents and older neighbours.
Thus
Linking Words
, by reinforcing
this
Linking Words
 manner,
children
Use synonyms
 will always choose to respect other people they encounter.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, when they enter schooling,
that is
Linking Words
 the time when teachers will continually teach them to socialize with peers, educators and other individuals like
parents
Use synonyms
 of their classmates.
For instance
Linking Words
, letting them know the importance of interacting with people similar to their age, and the significance of sharing their thoughts and experiences with their friends will help their mental state and social abilities.
As a result
Linking Words
, when they become teenagers and adults, they will acquire that it is important to share what they are thinking and not to keep it to themselves. In conclusion, I believe that it is the responsibility of both
parents
Use synonyms
 and teachers to demonstrate to each kid good behaviour
as well as
Linking Words
 the proper means of interacting with older people and peers.
Therefore
Linking Words
, their roles are vital in developing good manners that help in the betterment of
children
Use synonyms
's social lives.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to elaborate more on the opposing viewpoint for balance and to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Include more linking words and phrases to enhance flow and connectivity between points.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly outlines both views and your opinion, setting a clear path for your essay.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, like the respect for elders, effectively illustrates your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • moral development
  • primary educators
  • personalize lessons
  • reinforce good behaviors
  • structured environment
  • social norms
  • socialization opportunities
  • qualified educators
  • diverse group of peers
  • social skills
  • teamwork
  • practical scenarios
What to do next:
Look at other essays: