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Writing Samples
Band 4

There is an increasing trend of old people living longer in many countries around the world. Do you think this has a positive or a negative effect on the population as a whole?

#trend #people #countries #world #effect #population
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There is an increasing trend of old people living longer in many countries around the
world
Use synonyms
. Do you think
this
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 has a positive or a negative effect on the population as a whole? In todays' advanced medical era, the
life-span
the period during which something is functional (as between birth and death)
lifespan
 of people
are increasing
Suggestion
is increasing
 by more than 20-30 years, advocating a greater percentage of
old
Suggestion
older
 people within the total population of the
world
Use synonyms
.
This
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 trend is enforcing changes
on
Suggestion
in
 global as well as regional terms.
This
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 essay will put forth all consequences, from
Use synonyms
world level
Suggestion
the world level
 to family level, catering the topic to
larger audience
Suggestion
a larger audience
larger audiences
. To initiate,
old
Suggestion
older
 people are entitled for more aid from authority, including pension to home-based
work
Use synonyms
 to sometimes shelter and food. Of course, the family is labelled priority, but still their state of living is majorly reflected
on
Suggestion
in
 the government in most of the countries.
For example
Linking Words
, an essay has been asked in IELTS on how the increase in
old
Suggestion
older
 people is affecting the younger generation and an interesting observation was made in that which came out in the light regarding how the GDP of a nation is getting affected by
this
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. If ministry is required to spend most of its revenue on old people, where there is no return
of
Suggestion
on
 investment, it is only considered to be the mindless use of money.
Moreover
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, if the taxes paid by adults are distributed in old people and not in the welfare of
country
Suggestion
the country
,
then
Linking Words
 it is going to drag down the economy eventually. Whereas
old
Suggestion
older
 people are believed to
add
give help or assistance; be of service
aid
 in experience in the living lifestyle of a family and the professional
work
Use synonyms
 required in any industry.
For example
Linking Words
, if an Indian citizen wants to move to Canada to
work
Use synonyms
further
Linking Words
, the hiring company will hands down going to prefer the more experienced applicant. Same applies to a family, if both the parents are working, children are going to stay with their grandparents;
Linking Words
this
Suggestion
This
 will not only reduce the family members getting affected by depression and build
a
Suggestion
an
 enthusiastic environment around
kids but
Accept comma addition
kids, but
also
Linking Words
 help adults in making some predominant life decisions where the expertise of life experience is required. To conclude, there are similar positives and negatives around the population of the
world
Use synonyms
 getting affected by
increasing number
Suggestion
the increasing number
an increasing number
 of old people, making it difficult to gravitate towards one or the other. On one side, the family environment and skilled
work
Use synonyms
 that require precision- ancient wine making in Italy or creating
scent
Suggestion
a scent
scents
 in Paris, is benefited, while
on the other hand
Linking Words
 most the administrative income is invested in giving them an upgraded life.
Submitted by Ainu on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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