People under the age 18 who commit crimes should be re-educated rather than punished. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

Nowadays, Juvenile crimes are become ordinary things,
for
example some
Accept comma addition
example, some
teenagers steal something from others, or they join the gang to help promote improper borrowing or gambling. I think that all of the teenagers who commit crimes not have the advantage of good
education
make them be misled. So, I agree that people under the age 18 who commit crimes should be re-educated rather than punished.
In addition
, a good
education
can make those teenagers understand whether it is right or wrong to do something, whether can do it or not. Some of the teenagers will not obey even though be punished.
On the contrary
, if we punished more, it will become worst.
Therefore
, we can give him a chance to reform. The government must pay attention to
this
issue that they can be re-educated at
first
time
Furthermore
, they might be affected for their bad friends or be forced to do these.
For example
, the youth will prove their bravery after the bad
friends encourage
Accept comma addition
friends, encourage
them to commit crimes. When we face about
this
case, there only one way to give a chance for them to reform through re-educated
instead
of punished them directly. In conclusion, they were a piece of blank sheet paper when they were born. How of the person they will be are related to their growth environment and
education
from their parents. Juvenile crimes closely related to society. People must pay attention on
education
instead
of punished. They should be punished if they have been taught repeatedly
Submitted by Yasotha Arumugam on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: