Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree?

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Throughout history, governments have spent a portion of the state’s budget in the art sectors all over the world,
however
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,
this
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allocation is a matter of debate. Some experts mention that investing more in cultural sites must be increased,
while
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others believe it is wasting money and anticipate funding of public facilities is crucially more reasonable
instead
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of music or theatre expenses. I am actually in favour of the prior argument for two main reasons.
Firstly
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, as a matter of fact, the arts generally enhance human beings’ mental health and communities’ cultural enrichment thoroughly.
For instance
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, scientists depict that listening to a particular music genre
such
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as classical ones, would boost concentration and mount focus, especially in a studying process.
Furthermore
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, when spectators watch a comedy theatre, it will reduce mental issues
such
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as depression and anxiety in the long term,
in other words
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, the show is like a remedy for mental diseases. All in all, when politicians fundraise on these kinds of programs, communities’ health
consequently
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will be alleviated.
Secondly
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, the flourished local economy definitely depends on the enriched cultural sites with extraordinary artists. Take Paris as an example, annually municipalities and NGOs have held exhibitions to illustrate masterpiece artworks.
For
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this
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reason, a significant rise in
tourist
Correct article usage
the tourist
show examples
population, who have mounted to visit these shows, has been observed.
In addition
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, a considerable growth rate of buying items by foreign visitors will benefit Paris retailers and local shops’ economy.
On the other hand
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, the massive cost of mounting a festival or constructing a cinema is a vital issue, which some experts mention.
Therefore
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, these groups prefer investing in public services
instead
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of arts.
However
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, the usage of a surplus budget in an economically sustainable state should be recommended.
To conclude
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, despite the huge cost of the arts sector, it is an investment in economics terminology by aims to flourish the local economy. In my opinion, a surplus budget should invest in music and performance
instead
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of public services, which provide opportunities to make profits for all walks of people.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure clear, concise topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to improve logical flow.
task achievement
Introduce counterarguments and refute them more comprehensively to present a balanced perspective.
task achievement
Clear stance stated in introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Good use of specific examples to support main arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural enrichment
  • expression of creativity
  • promote diversity
  • enhance social cohesion
  • boost tourism
  • job creation
  • stimulate economic growth
  • improve quality of life
  • essential services
  • maintenance and development
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