IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In many countries, it is very easy to apply for and be given a credit card. However, this causes some people to have problems with debts they cannot pay back. Do you think the advantages of credit cards outweigh the disadvantages?

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Credit
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cards
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 are a blessing and a curse. They can be used to help you pay your bills,
however
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 the interest on them can make them more of a hassle than they are worth.
Consequently
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, some people believe that these modes of payment can cause devastating debt. My opinion is that they are valuable when used correctly, but a sinking ship is in the hands of the untrained. The advantages of
credit
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cards
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 are many. They can be used to transfer balance, and pay bills and when used smartly, they can improve your
credit
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score
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. My personal experience with
credit
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cards
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 has been
this
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 way.
For instance
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, I used a
credit
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 builder to increase my
credit
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score
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 and simultaneously pulled myself out of debt. Obviously, I had to manage my finances and ensure I was meeting my targets,
otherwise
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, it could have easily gone the other way.
On the other hand
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, the disadvantage is that short-term solutions can plunge one into the pits of debt if they are not repaid in a timely manner.
Moreover
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,
this
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 can worsen the
credit
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score
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 and make life difficult as landlords and brokers check
credit
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 history before approving applications.
For example
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, a friend of mine was made redundant and had enough savings to
last
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 her 4 months. She relied on
credit
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cards
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 and ended up with a poor
credit
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score
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 as she was unable to find a job. When she was able to find a job in a nearby city, she was unable to find a rental property
due to
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 her plummeting
score
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 and
thus
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 she was stuck in a spiral. In conclusion, I believe the advantages of
credit
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cards
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 outweigh the disadvantages. They are a valuable tool and their benefits can only be appreciated by the learned.
Thus
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, those taking out a
credit
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 card have a responsibility to self-educate before filing an application. If they choose not to do so, they must face the consequences.

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coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized and easy to follow, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the main points could be developed further with more detailed arguments and analysis.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. While the essay is generally cohesive, occasionally, the connections between points could be made clearer.
task achievement
Although the essay addresses the task effectively, it would benefit from delving deeper into the implications of credit card use and providing a more balanced view of both advantages and disadvantages.
task achievement
Consider integrating more diverse examples to support your arguments. While the essay provides relevant examples, additional evidence and varied perspectives would strengthen your position.
task achievement
The essay clearly articulates the advantages and disadvantages of credit cards, providing a balanced view that addresses the prompt effectively.
task achievement
Your personal experience adds a relatable and authentic touch to the essay, enhancing the credibility of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and logical structure, with a well-defined introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The transitions between paragraphs are generally smooth, contributing to the overall flow and readability.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • convenience
  • financial flexibility
  • consumer debt
  • credit history
  • interest charges
  • financial responsibility
  • overspending
  • economic activity
  • rewards program
  • cash back
  • debt accumulation
  • financial problems
  • mental health
  • stress
  • anxiety
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