Some people think governments should spend money on faster means of public transport. However, others think money should be spent on other priorities (such as the environment). Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays, a great number of people indicate that the
government
should spend more money
on developing faster means of transportation, while
others argue that the government
resources should be spent on more important issues such
as protecting and saving the environment. I personally agree with the first idea and I will explain my opinion on this
matter in details
.
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
To begin
with, it is clear that
the government
should prioritize investing in faster means of transportation especially
in large cities because the problem of traffic congestion and air pollution from numerous vehicles is increasingly serious in them. To give an example, in big cities in my country, Iran, people face traffic jams for hours after work in peak times. Add the comma(s)
, especially
This
has negative effects on people's physical and mental heath
. Correct your spelling
health
Moreover
, spending more time in traffic also
causes spending more money
on gas and wasting energy sources, which in turn will cause more invironmetal
issues Correct your spelling
environmental
such
as pollution and global warming.
Furthermore
, if government
invests more in the improvement of means of Add an article
the government
transportations
that have more capacities and are faster than other ones, the number of vehicles will probably decrease. Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
for example
, after launching high-speed trains between cities, public
has an opportunity to get faster in their destinations. Add an article
the public
This
made more convenient transit from one place to another, especially for those who had to drive long distances to get to their workplaces, and now they prefer to travel by train rather than drive their own cars. In addition
, there are financial benefits, as driving long distances requires more money
spent on gas.
In conclusion, although
our society has a huge quantity of issues to be solved, I still believe that spending money
on improving the transport system has benefits that could help to ease such
problems as air and noise pollution.Submitted by TUTOO on
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task achievement
Make sure to address both viewpoints more explicitly in the body paragraphs to provide a balanced argument, as the essay is currently more focused on one side.
coherence cohesion
Avoid minor spelling and grammatical errors. For instance, 'invironmental' should be 'environmental', and 'for example' should be capitalized as it begins a new sentence.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly to the next using appropriate linking words. Some transitions between sentences could be improved for better overall coherence.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The essay addresses a relevant example from personal experience to illustrate the main points.
task achievement
The writer shows critical thinking by explaining how faster means of transportation could alleviate several problems, such as traffic congestion and environmental issues.