IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

When new towns are planned it is more important to build public parks or sports facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time To what extent do you agree or disagree

#towns #parks #sports #facilities #centers #people #time
These days, there have been immense advances in building shopping centres in most of aspects of people’s lives. While some people argue that town planners should invest in developing shopping centres, I would argue that it is better to develop public parks or sports facilities in metropolitan areas. On the one hand, it is undeniable fact that shopping malls play an extremely important role in society. In fact, they provide convenience in purchasing all necessary goods in only place which make residents possible to buy as well as save time and travel costs.
Besides
, they
also
 provide occupation opportunities for each individual
such
 as vendors, dealers, staff and so on.
However
, since there are a large number of shopping centres, it makes inhabitants spend most of their free time in
this
 one-stop shop.
As a result
, citizens do not give preference to their health, fitness, or social communication; they become accustomed to a luxurious lifestyle.
On the other hand
, by investing in sports facilities and gym centres, locals would have more space to boost their mental and physical well being.
Besides
, in order to minimize a vast amount of carbon dioxin released into the air due to cars using as well as heavy industries, having public parks which worked as a green lung of landmark is vitally important.
Therefore
, citizens have more opportunities in improving their health and living standards in lieu of spending time in shopping malls By way of conclusion,
although
 shopping galaxies or luxurious dining spots are a good source of entertainment, the importance of recreational venues should not be ignored when constructing an area. In my opinion, more emphasis should be placed on facilitating the public with the latter, so that town dwellers get more benefit in limited space and budget
Submitted by Nam Đinh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: