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In many countries, people decide to have a child at a later age. Why is this? Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #child #age #development
Nowadays, many couples are delaying
in
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apply
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parenthood as the job market is saturated and resources are limited to a certain class in society,
although
 it has many consequences which will be discussed in
this
 essay and will be explained that advantages are higher than disadvantages.
Firstly
, couples do not want to have a
child
 in
early
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the early
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 years of marriage for the reason that many want to focus on
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their career
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career
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careers
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 and raising
financial
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their financial
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 status,
accordingly
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accordingly,
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 they can provide their offspring
a
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with a
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healthy and lavish life,
along with
this
 many people want to enjoy social gathering and
traveling
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travelling
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 which will be difficult after having a kid since it is hard to balance the life both ways, especially for women.
Secondly
, there
is
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are
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 some good amount of drawbacks in delaying
to have
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having
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 a
child
, some people believe
30
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that 30
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 to 40 years
age
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of age
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 is perfect for making money and career growth, but having a
child
 after
30th
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the 30th
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 can cause many health issues
such
 as Down syndrome,
serious
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and serious
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 genetic problems. Delay in parenthood is
also
 affecting children’s growth, learning and understanding
your
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of your
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 younger one because of the huge gap of years
in
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between
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 two generations, as your
child
 is in
the
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apply
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university and you are about to take the retirement which can be delayed in order to fulfil your responsibilities towards your kid.
To conclude
, it is believed that many want to delay having a
child
 in order to have a career or financial growth
also
 many want to enjoy their social life, but the benefits are healthier than
drawbacks
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the drawbacks
show examples
.
Submitted by MK on

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Task Achievement
The essay provides some relevant points but lacks depth and clarity. The examples used are not well-developed and do not fully support the main points.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay lacks a clear logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The progression of ideas is not well-organized, and there is some confusion in the presentation of arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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