Some people believe that money is the most important factor for achieving happiness. However, others believe that happiness has nothing to do with money. Do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion and examples.

#people #money #factor #happiness

According to many people, wealth is the sole key to enjoy the life, while, others opine that wealth has no connection with the joy and I agree with the same.

This

essay will support my opinion.

Firstly

, following a famous saying that, cash can never buy happiness and it is a fact. Every rich is not a happy person. Staying content with the blessings of God leads to peace of mind and soul. Simplicity is the best policy for contentment.To illustrate, in our surroundings majority of people belongs to labour class and they are most cheerful ones without any fear of others,

hence

, they are peaceful and happy even with no capital.

On the other hand

, with the growing trend of globalization and advancement, everyone is behind wealth as many opponents believe that being wealthy is the only goal of their life that gives them satisfaction.

Furthermore

, it depends on the nature of society following by

such

people who prefer to showcase their assets to gain the popularity that eventually gives them happiness. People consider the admiration attained by their wage as a happy moment, but in actual it is not true.

For example

, rich people feel proud of their luxurious lifestyle and branded cars.They feel happy with assets and finance. In conclusion, I would say all wealthy people are neither happy nor a poor one unhappy. Criteria of satisfaction are different for all and cash is not linked with happiness.

Submitted by Hina Hunny on Tue Jul 21 2020

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

241 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that money is the most important factor for achieving happiness. However, others believe that happiness has nothing to do with money. Do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion and examples.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

In many countries, more and more prople choose to buy imported food rather than food produced locally. Why people buy important food? What could be done to encourage people to buy local food.

People who do not use social media networks will always fall behind in career development opportunities. To what extent do you feel that this is an accurate and important prediction? (Social media networks = messaging and information exchange systems such as Facebook and Twitter.)

In recent years, there has been a noticeable trend in Vietnam towards adopting Western architectural styles in residential housing. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Many people are now opting to provide technology companies with their personal data in exchange for access to software. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?