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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In the last 20 years there have been significant developments in the field of information technology (IT), for example the World Wide Web and communication by email. However, these developments in IT are likely to have more negative effects than positive in the future.

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Introduction
The
last
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 two decades have seen enormous changes in the way
people
Use synonyms
's lives are affected by IT, with many advances in
this
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 field.
However
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,
while
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 these technological advances have brought many to the world, I strongly believe that these developments in IT will result in more negative impacts than
positive
Correct pronoun usage
positive ones
show examples
.
Body paragraph 1
On the positive side, email has made communication, especially abroad, much simpler and faster.
This
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 has resulted in numerous benefits for commerce and business as we do not need to wait weeks for letters or take time sending faxes, which was the case in the past.
Furthermore
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, the World Wide Web means that information on every conceivable subject is now available to us.
For example
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,
people
Use synonyms
 can access news, medical advice, online education courses and much more via the internet. These developments have made life far easier and more convenient for many.
Body paragraph 2
Nevertheless
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, the effects of
this
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 new technology have not all been beneficial.
For example
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, many
people
Use synonyms
 feel that the widespread use of email is destroying traditional forms of communication
such
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 as letter writing, telephone and face-to-face conversation.
This
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 could result in a decline in
people
Use synonyms
's basic ability to socialize and interact with each other on a day-to-day basis.
In addition
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, the large size of the Web has meant that it is nearly impossible to regulate and control.
This
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 has led to many concerns regarding children accessing unsuitable websites and the spread of computer viruses. Unfortunately,
this
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 kind of problem might even get worse in the future at least until more regulated systems are set up.
Conclusion
In conclusion, developments in IT have brought many benefits, yet I believe that these are outweighed by the drawbacks. In the
future
Add a comma
future,
show examples
 these will need to be addressed if we are to avoid damaging impacts on individuals and society.

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task achievement
Consider elaborating on the negative impacts with more specific examples or data to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words or phrases to better connect your ideas, particularly in the body paragraphs, to improve the flow of the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Overall good structure with a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Well-developed points regarding the benefits of IT, especially in communication and information access.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • technological dependency
  • data breaches
  • identity theft
  • digital divide
  • automation
  • artificial intelligence
  • e-waste
  • social inequalities
  • mental health issues
  • environmental consequences
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