Some people believe that all wild animals should be protected. Others say that few wild animals should be protected instead. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #animals

Biological diversity in the ecological system needs human preservation to prevent the extinction of

species

. It is argued that whether protection of wild

animals

should be all-rounded or limited to several wild

animals

. To me,

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

should conserve

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

nature without over-intervention. It is said that Scientists and Zoologists should protect all varieties of natural

animals

. Every

species

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

valuable to maintain the uncountable number of animal types.

However

, it will lead to

over protection

Correct your spelling

overprotection

show examples

that

Correct word choice

and

show examples

the

animals

may lose their skills to hunt and

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

build a shelter.

For instance

, if mankind put tigers under protection, tigers may lose their innate ability to hunt prey and only wait for food provided by the zoo keepers. Meanwhile, when

deers

Fix the agreement mistake

deer

show examples

are protected, they may lose the awareness of danger,

consequently

Add a comma

consequently,

show examples

they may be killed easily. Protecting all kinds of

animals

is another kind of

destroy

Replace the word

destruction

show examples

because the natural environment becomes artificial.

Nevertheless

, some activists of animal rights emphasize only conserving

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

endangered

species

to prevent their extinction. The natural habitats of wild

animals

should not be disturbed. Only when the number of certain

species

dropped

Wrong verb form

drops

show examples

dramatically that going to be extinct,

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

must intervene to try to keep them alive.

For example

, pandas were categorized as endangered

species

in China, and

therefore

the Chinese government devoted a

lot

Add the preposition

lot of

show examples

efforts

Fix the agreement mistake

effort

show examples

to try to

nuture

Correct your spelling

nurture

more baby pandas. I agree that it is not necessary for

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

to protect all wild

species

Human

Fix the agreement mistake

Humans

show examples

should only monitor and record different types of natural

animals

to have a better understanding of diversity in

species

. Unless the

species

encountered

Wrong verb form

encounters

show examples

the danger of extinction,

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

should not intervene

the

Change preposition

in the

show examples

ecology. In conclusion, human activities

such

as cutting trees from the forest and emitting greenhouse gases that always

destruct

Verb problem

destroy

show examples

the natural

environments

Fix the agreement mistake

environment

show examples

. All people should bear the responsibility to maintain a lifestyle of less carbon footprint to provide a better living area for

animals

Submitted by ada on Tue Jul 21 2020

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task response

The essay provides a comprehensive response to the task, presenting arguments for both views and giving a clear opinion. However, some ideas are not fully developed, and examples could be more specific and relevant.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is generally clear, with a well-organized introduction and conclusion and supported main points. However, there are some instances of unclear or loosely connected ideas that affect the coherence of the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

316 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

biodiversity
ecosystem
conservation status
ecological significance
holistic approach
endangered species
natural heritage
unforeseen negative impacts
economically non-viable
prioritization
ecosystem balance
conservation efforts

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Some people believe that all wild animals should be protected. Others say that few wild animals should be protected instead. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Because of the global economy, many goods including what we use as everyday basics produced by other countries have to be transported for a long distance. TO what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Should high school students be required to study many different subjects at the same time, or should they study only three or four subjects at a time? Do you agree or disagree?