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Band 4

In today's world, majority of people are expostulate that schools are not necessary due to children's are capable to learn a massive information through internet.

#world #majority #people #expostulate #schools #children #information #internet
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In today's world,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of people
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
expostulate that
schools
Use synonyms
 are not necessary
due to
Linking Words
Use synonyms
children's
Change noun form
children
show examples
 are capable
to learn
Change preposition
of learning
show examples
 a massive
information
Use synonyms
 through
Use synonyms
Add an article
the internet
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
. The majority of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people have an opinion that the online learning platform is more compatible than traditional
schools
Use synonyms
. It is
inessential
Replace the word
essential
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 to attend
schools
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 or universities
therefore
Linking Words
students
Use synonyms
 can source their research and gain
knowledge
Use synonyms
 through the
Internet
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
online learning
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
show examples
 the costs of travelling, course books and human labour.
Internet
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
 has enormous benefits to
students
Use synonyms
, conveniently accessible and traditional
schools
Use synonyms
 are the crucial filter including its no exaggeration to claim most all
information
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 disseminates on it.
Students
Use synonyms
 can access
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
various learning platform
such
Linking Words
 as
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
video, youTube, online articles and other interactive learning programs
therefore
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 the innumerable content and articles
are
Correct pronoun usage
that are
show examples
 ubiquitous on the
Internet
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 does not pass an inspection thoroughly.
Linking Words
Consequently
Add a comma
Consequently,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 can lead to false
information
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 and sensationalised propaganda. Most of the
children
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 and
adolescent
Fix the agreement mistake
adolescents
show examples
 are susceptible to what they have read
via
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online as they might be less sceptical and lack
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
discretion.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
teachers
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 can encapsulate the
knowledge
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 from textbooks and instil
Correct pronoun usage
it to
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to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
students
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 The
Use synonyms
schools
Change to a genitive case
school's
schools'
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 materials and textbooks are written by well-regarded academic authors and thoroughly researched so as
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 result the
students
Use synonyms
 would get reliable and precise
information
Use synonyms
 and
education
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. Traditional
schools
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 and universities help
students
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 to maintain
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good discipline and behaviour as
teachers
Use synonyms
 are closely monitoring the
students
Use synonyms
’ performances and academic results.
As well as
Linking Words
 observing and assisting the
students
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 to have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
decent value and proper guidance from
teachers
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Linking Words
thus
Rephrase
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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artificial intelligence cannot substitute well-educated
teachers
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. The
Attend
Replace the word
attending
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students
Use synonyms
 tend to
have well
Verb problem
be
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- behaved, self-discipline and
responsibility
Replace the word
responsible
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due to
Linking Words
 the supervision of
teachers
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 including the
regulate
Replace the word
regulation
show examples
 of
students
Use synonyms
’ conduct,
therefore
Linking Words
students
Use synonyms
 tend to
have
Verb problem
focus
show examples
 more concentrate on their studies as they can not be distracted by the lure of the
Internet
Use synonyms
 during reading or studying at school.
Moreover
Linking Words
, studying in
schools
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 enhances
children
Use synonyms
's
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
social
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 as they can interact with their peers and gain more experiences in social life.
Children
Use synonyms
 can learn rapidly and master in various studies
such
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 as writing and speaking from
another
Replace the adjective
another student
other students
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students
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.
Schools
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also
Linking Words
 encourage and provide numerous activities for
students
Use synonyms
 to participate and those activities not only ameliorate their physical but
also
Linking Words
mentally
Change the word
mental
show examples
.
Students
Use synonyms
 can learn about teamwork, communication and socialising, these
implement
Replace the word
implementations
show examples
 would help to improve student lives and careers in the future
while
Linking Words
 online
education
Use synonyms
 could not provide these learning skills
due to
Linking Words
 limited extent.
As
Change preposition
In
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conclusion the rapid
technology
Replace the word
technological
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 advancement and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
easy access
through
Change preposition
to
show examples
internet
Use synonyms
 sources.
Students
Use synonyms
 can conveniently access
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
knowledge
Use synonyms
 and accessible
information
Use synonyms
. Online courses allow
students
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 to study with flexible time and at preferable
timing
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
.
Hence
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 new approach could be assisting for traditional school
education
Use synonyms
 but can not
be replace
Change the verb form
be replaced
show examples
.
Schools
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 and
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
 are still imperative and vital
education
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system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
,.
Change the punctuation
,
.
show examples
Teachers
Use synonyms
 are still playing a significant role in providing
knowledge
Use synonyms
 and support to the
students
Use synonyms
thus
Linking Words
schools
Use synonyms
 are more effective than online
education
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
its
Correct your spelling
it is
show examples
necessaries
Replace the word
necessary
show examples
 for
students
Use synonyms
 to attend school, universities or their classes and at the same time,
gaining
Wrong verb form
gain
show examples
knowledge
Use synonyms
 through the
Internet
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Immy Knijpstra on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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