These days people spend more and more time at work and less time at home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Spending more
time
at the workplace is becoming increasingly popular nowadays.
This
development is beneficial to
people
since it allows them to gain more experience and excel at
work
, yet there are some drawbacks to be taken into account. On the one hand, working for long
hours
is advantageous to
people
for some reasons.
Firstly
, it provides a great opportunity for them to push themselves to their limits and learn more valuable knowledge.
This
is especially useful to fresh graduates who are willing to do anything it takes to gain experience.
Secondly
, staying in the workplace for prolonged periods means employees are highly appreciated and valued as they are given a lot of
work
to do.
As a result
,
this
may increase their chances of getting a promotion and,
therefore
, earn more money.
For instance
, senior developers in IT companies have more responsibilities at
work
and,
consequently
, spend more
time
at the office.
On the other hand
, spending more
time
at
work
has numerous disadvantages. The
work
-life balance of
people
who
work
long
hours
is destroyed and they usually suffer from
high-stress
Correct your spelling
high stress
show examples
levels.
As a consequence
, they struggle with mental health issues
such
as depression, anxiety, and insomnia because individuals feel overwhelmed by the amount of tasks they must finish.
This
can be exemplified by employees who
work
ten
hours
a day
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
arrive home exhausted and go straight to bed since they have no
time
to relax or take care of themselves. Another issue is that most jobs are inactive nowadays and involve
people
sitting in offices, which means workers end up leading sedentary lifestyles.
This
is detrimental to their health, as it causes obesity, diabetes, and cardiovascular disease. In conclusion, working long
hours
has some benefits, yet it
also
has negative implications for
people
as it affects their mental and physical health.
Submitted by Maria .A on

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Task Response
Overall, the essay addresses the advantages and disadvantages of spending more time at work. The ideas are well-developed and the examples provided are relevant. However, there is room for improvement in supporting the main points with more detailed examples and explanations.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively summarize the main points. The logical structure of the essay is clear, and the ideas are well-organized within each paragraph. However, the essay could benefit from stronger connections between ideas and improved coherence through the use of linking words and phrases.
Lexical Resource
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, including advanced vocabulary related to work, lifestyle, and health. However, the essay would benefit from more precise and varied expression in some areas to enhance the lexical resource.
Grammatical Range
There is a variety of complex structures used throughout the essay, including conditional sentences, passive voice, and advanced grammatical forms. However, the essay has some errors in subject-verb agreement and word choice. Attention to these areas could improve the grammatical range.

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