IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Eventually, technology will solve the most important environmental problems the world faces today. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#technology #world
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In our ever-evolving world, the pivotal role of
technology
Use synonyms
 in addressing critical environmental concerns has been the subject of fervent debate.
While
Linking Words
 some contend that
technology
Use synonyms
 is the linchpin in resolving these pressing issues, I argue that,
while
Linking Words
technology
Use synonyms
 plays a significant role, it
also
Linking Words
 introduces new challenges
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the environmental equation. Undoubtedly,
technology
Use synonyms
 can offer innovative solutions to environmental problems.
For instance
Linking Words
, advancements in renewable energy sources like solar and wind power have demonstrated promising potential in reducing reliance on fossil fuels,
consequently
Linking Words
 curbing greenhouse gas emissions.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the adoption of renewable energy technologies
also
Linking Words
 demands substantial resources, often involving extensive land use and mineral extraction, leading to its own set of environmental impacts.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
technology
Use synonyms
 can significantly contribute to resource conservation. High-efficiency appliances,
such
Linking Words
 as smart thermostats or energy-efficient lighting, contribute to reduced energy consumption, thereby lowering carbon footprints.
However
Linking Words
, the production, distribution, and eventual disposal of these devices generate electronic waste, contributing to environmental degradation.
However
Linking Words
, the solution to environmental issues isn't solely contingent on technological advancements. Collaborative efforts among individuals and societies are paramount. The promotion of sustainable practices,
such
Linking Words
 as reducing single-use plastics or embracing eco-friendly transportation options, demands collective action.
Additionally
Linking Words
, robust environmental policies and community engagement are vital to safeguarding our ecosystems. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
technology
Use synonyms
 undeniably aids in mitigating environmental challenges, its implementation often accompanies its own ecological footprint. Addressing these challenges necessitates a multifaceted approach that encompasses technological innovations alongside concerted efforts from society.
Thus
Linking Words
,
technology
Use synonyms
 alone cannot be relied upon to solve environmental problems; it requires a holistic, collaborative approach to effect meaningful change.
Submitted by linglinglin070 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument. To enhance coherence further, ensure that transitional phrases are smoothly integrated for seamless progression from one point to the next.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are generally well-supported, but to strengthen cohesion, elaborate on your examples to clearly demonstrate how they support your argument. This includes providing more concrete evidence or data when presenting technological impacts on environmental issues.
task achievement
You have effectively addressed the task by presenting a balanced perspective on the role of technology in solving environmental problems. However, to achieve a higher score in task achievement, expand your argument by providing more specific examples that underline the points you introduce. This would substantiate your argument and offer a more complete response to the prompt.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: