Some people think that young people should go to university to further their education while others think they should be encouraged to work as car mechanics or builders etc.to serve society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #university #education #work #car #mechanics #builders #society

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People have different views about how

young

Suggestion

younger

generations to make their choice between

further

Linking Words

academic development and start career

such

Linking Words

like auto mechanics or constructor for community contribution. While technical occupation is beneficial to community progress, I agree with those suggest young people to continue studying at institutions or college.

Firstly

Linking Words

, technical profession could increase the level of employment as these positions could offer to

younger generation

Suggestion

the younger generation

, especially for those are not good at studying academic knowledge since these occupations do not require educational qualification.

Secondly

Linking Words

, technical occupations play an important role to steady the regular life for citizens. Car owners,

for instance

Linking Words

, could suffer if their vehicles could not be fixed on time just because there is no

such

Linking Words

a professional worker around. What’s more, these neglected issues could affect the sense of well-being of the citizens as they live in community with huge inconvenient.

However

Linking Words

, I believed that juveniles should attend college for expanding their educational level.

This

Linking Words

is because they could be easier to obtain a higher salary position than those just simply finished high school courses.

For example

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, a managerial position usually be qualified with bachelor degree above.

In addition

Linking Words

, high-quality talent pool could guarantee countries to boost the economy due to these people are the core competitiveness to make a country greater than others. Top talents could generate their experiences and knowledges to facilitate industry development, particularly in science, healthcare and technology field and these talents could be cultivated by universities or college. In conclusion, education is one of the most important propositions for juveniles which could possibly impact their direction of life path.

That is

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the reason I believe that to motivate them to

further

Linking Words

higher education or attend university could lead them to gain a brighten future.

Submitted by Ben on Sun Jul 26 2020

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

294 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

higher education
vocational training
skillset
employment landscape
economic contributions
hands-on experience
critical thinking skills
practical knowledge
tuition fees
trade professions
essential workforce
academic qualifications

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