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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think the government should support artists like painters, musicians, and poets, while others believe this wastes money. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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In many countries,
artists
Use synonyms
 like painters, musicians, and poets are a pivotal part of society. Some
people
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 argue that, if the
government
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 supports them,
then
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 that would be a waste of resources. I believe
artists
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 should be given as much support as is required for them to grow. On the one hand, those who believe that
artists
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 should not be supported often point to the fact that the
government
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 should utilise those resources to focus more on strengthening the country ,
such
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 as building new houses and supporting local communities.
For instance
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, the Indian
government
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 has increased the taxes on artistic work , and they are using that money to support
people
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,
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apply
show examples
 who needs fund for buying new property.
While
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this
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 perspective has some validity, it overlooks the negative impact on young and upcoming
artists
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.
On the other hand
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, I find that if the
government
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 starts investing more in
artists
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, it will bring more
creativity
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 in country.
Moreover
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, the young generation will take extra interest in
such
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kind of artisitic
Replace the word
artistic
 work.
For example
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, in 2025, Japan reduced the taxes on artistic work , and they saw 30% increase in
creativity
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 among young
people
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, who eventually painted the streets with breathtaking visuals.
This
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 resulted in 20% increased in tourism. It is
for
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this
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 reason that I align myself with
this
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 perspective. In conclusion, both viewpoints have merit. I believe that
artists
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 like painters, musicians and poets should be given extra support, which will bring
creativity
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 in country and will spark
creativity
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 in the young
people
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.

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task response
Make your main idea more clear in each body part.
task response
Give fuller support for each point with a short reason or result.
task response
Your own view is clear, but explain why it is best in more depth.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a more natural way.
coherence and cohesion
Keep the same idea together in one part of the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Check small grammar and word form errors because they make some lines hard to follow.
task response
You discuss both sides and give your own view.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, middle, and end.
task response
Examples are used to support your ideas.
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