IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history rather than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#schoolchildren #history #world
A school of thought holds that studying
history
 of their own country,
instead
 of that of the
world
, is more important to young student. I disagree with
this
 notion for the reasons outlined below. It is understandable why some people put heavy emphasis on children learning about local
history
. The key rationale is that discovering local historical legacies are adequate, laying foundations for
further
 development of their own country.
However
,
this
 thinking was only valid in the past when interactions were confined to people whose the same race and ethnicity. In light of rapid globalization, only by having a good grasp of foreign countries'
history
, may young citizens find it easier to respect cultural differences, which is key to mutual understanding and cooperation among nations.
Therefore
, it is sensible that schools should incorporate
world
history
 into their curriculum.
In addition
 to fostering an appreciation for cultural diversity, teaching schoolchildren about events that took place in other parts of the
world
 can give them a more accurate and fair outlook on what happened in their nation.
ON the other hand
, learning exclusively about national
history
 could cause an individual to be biased and harbour negative feelings about people from other countries.
For example
, in Vietnam, students mostly learn about how Vietnam fought against foreign armies
such
 as America or France, which causes many children to develop a distorted thinking that people from these countries are bad. In conclusion, the notion that national
history
 should be prioritized is flawed, and I would argue that learning
world
history
 offers far greater benefits to school children.
Submitted by zzzzzz on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • heritage
  • cultural identity
  • ancestry
  • traditions
  • globalization
  • empathy
  • contemporary issues
  • integrate
  • perspective
  • civilization
  • diversity
  • innovations
  • historical significance
  • nationalism
  • cosmopolitanism
  • historiography
  • geopolitical
What to do next:
Look at other essays: