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One long-distance flight consumes fuel which a car uses in several years’ time, but they cause the same amount of pollution. So same people think that we should discourage non-essential flights, such as tourist travel, rather than to limit the use of cars. TASK: To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#flight #fuel #car #years’ #time #amount #pollution #people #flights #tourist #travel #limit #cars
Despite the fact that fuel emissions from
the
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car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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 and
flight
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flights
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 are the same, vehicles consume five times less gases than aeroplanes, and to solve
this
 problem the government proposes cancelling unnecessary
flight
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flights
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such
 as
a
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tourist
trip
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trips
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 rather than restricting the use of cars. I personally disagree with
this
 statement as it will cause great resentment among people
as well as
 it is not the biggest dilemma nowadays. First and foremost, it is not solving
this
 problem, as it is two main ways of moving.
Furthermore
, individuals, travel for different reasons it would be
medicine
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as medicine
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, work, studying, exploring,
developing
Correct word choice
and developing
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as well
as
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and
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 they will always travel to relax and
diversity
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diversify
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 their surroundings. As an example, we can take the period during the quarantine, when all flights were cancelled and the situation with our pollution did not advance and
as a result
individual
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individuals
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moving
Wrong verb form
moved
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 by car. Apart from air pollution, there are numerous problems connected with the environment,
such
 as climate change, water pollution, unsustainable waste generation,natural disasters and so on.
Last
 but not
the
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least, I am convinced that to change our environment we should
firstly
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first
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 change ourselves.
For instance
, we could handle
this
 complication if we could increase control over industrial
waste-discharge
Correct your spelling
waste discharge
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 and adopt more environmentally friendly materials and production equipment. In conclusion, I would like to say that both cars and aeroplanes have a negative effect on our globe, but it is not a positive way to
be discouraged
Wrong verb form
discourage
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 tourist air travel
instead
 of limiting the use of private cars.
Submitted by Maria on

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coherence cohesion
Introduce clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to improve logical structure and readability.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to fully support your main points and make your argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the argument well.
task achievement
The arguments presented are relevant to the topic and show a reasonable understanding of the issue.
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