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Writing Samples
Band 6

In some societies, the number of crimes committed by teenagers is growing. Some people think that regardless of age, teenagers who commit major crimes should receive adult punishment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#societies #crimes #teenagers #people #age #adult #punishment
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In a day and age, more and more crimes among young adults are increasing constantly, especially those committing major offences which pose a severe threat to the communities.  Indeed, many people argue that imposing the same punishments as adults on juvenile crimes would be a top priority method at
this
Linking Words
 present time. 
Although
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 I accept that the youth crimes should be sentenced the same as adults, I still share the concern with those who go against
this
Linking Words
 statement.  On the one hand, I believe that fear of punishment can certainly bring down the adolescent crimes breaking major laws.
Initially
Linking Words
,
this
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 is due to the fact that children are often scared to receive the consequences and castigations after they make mistakes. To be more specific, teenagers who committed serious crimes
such
Linking Words
 as robbery or even murder need to be tough on crime like other adults to ensure that the punishments instill fear in their minds and help them to realize the repercussions that they will face with in order to prevent them from reoffending. 
Secondly
Linking Words
, forcing these common punishments can decrease the number of youth crimes since other children can look up to those who have already been punished as role models. In Vietnam, take an example, since the juveniles engaging in unlawful and cruel acts are arrested and receive the punishments which regard their age, the number of juvenile crimes decreased until today. 
On the other hand
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, imposing adult punishments
on
Suggestion
for
 juvenile crimes should be taken into consideration meticulously.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the cognitive development of adolescents is not mature enough to think
of
Suggestion
about
 the potential risks and the consequences behind the criminal activities. To be more precise, it is obvious that many youngsters act cruelly with curse words, racism or discrimination by social
net working
an interconnected system of things or people
networking
 sites,
such
Linking Words
 as Facebook, Instagram or Twitter and they may not
regconise
accept (someone) to be what is claimed or accept his power and authority
recognize
recognise
 that they have traumatized the victims, some of these cases lead to the
sucide
the shore of a sea or ocean regarded as a resort
seaside
, which means they have
also
Linking Words
 already committed major offences. 
As a result
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, many adolescents have committed the sins under the lack of the knowledge associated with
legislation
Suggestion
the legislation
. In
this
Linking Words
 way, sending them to rehabilitation centres would be a better measure to give them a chance to realise what they have done and they can change their behaviour. In a nutshell, while I believe that punishing the crimes among young adults can reduce the
criminal
Suggestion
crime
 rates for society, I still assert that
this
Linking Words
 opinion would not be the only priority measure to tackle the trend.
Submitted by Tu Nguyet on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • juvenile delinquency
  • criminal behavior
  • rehabilitation
  • recidivism
  • adolescent development
  • retribution
  • impulse control
  • the justice system
  • societal influences
  • environmental factors
  • juvenile justice
  • punitive measures
  • adult incarceration
  • youth crime
  • reformative programs
  • deterrence
  • mitigating circumstances
  • restorative justice
  • correctional facilities
  • peer pressure
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