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Writing Samples
Band 7

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. Do you think that benefits of tourism overweigh its drawbacks?

There is an ongoing debate over whether is it bad for some
countries
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 to rely on tourism as a main source of income or not. Some people claim that tourism can help beautiful but poor
countries
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 to develop and build start-up capital,
while
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 others firmly believe that the drawbacks
such
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 as citizen violation, increased crime index and higher prices for locals exceed the benefits.
This
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 essay will elucidate both sides of
this
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 argument and conclude whether the negative sides of
this
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 trend exceed the positive.
To begin
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 with, exploration is a great way to earn extra money for
countries
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 that lack natural resources. Paris is a very popular place to visit, many tourists are eager to get there and learn about their culture.
As a result
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, France has a huge budget for a
country
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 so small.
Moreover
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, I think if I ever manage to become the president of any
country
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, my main source of income will be exploration.
Due to
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, its' profitability and small requirements.
For example
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, Spain is a
country
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 with a rich history,
therefore
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 there are many sights to see. People from all around the world are travelling to Spain, expanding their exchequer.
Nevertheless
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,
this
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 trend has many serious problems.
Firstly
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, I think it is evident that shop owners tend to make expenses higher if there are many tourists in order to earn more money.
This
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 affects the locals, many citizens can't afford some products
due to
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 high prices.
For instance
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, In Brazil poverty index is very high, because bills there are controlled by tourists.
Secondly
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, incomers have a negative impact on the culture of the
country
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 they are visiting. Often travellers promote their own norms, encouraging locals to change their lifestyles. In conclusion, I think it is obvious that tourism can help small
countries
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 earn their start-up capital.
However
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, the drawbacks of
this
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 trend are severe and one should think twice before promoting it. My personal opinion is that the positive sides of
this
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 phenomenon slightly overweight its negative ones.

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states your opinion regarding the advantages and disadvantages of tourism. This sets a clearer direction for your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear topic sentences at the start of each paragraph to help readers understand the main point of each section. For example, state the main problem caused by tourism right at the beginning of the paragraph discussing disadvantages.
task achievement
Support your points with specific examples and explain how they relate to your argument. For instance, explain why higher prices for locals are a serious problem.
task achievement
You provided a balanced view of the advantages and disadvantages of tourism, which is good for exploring different perspectives.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your opinion well, making it clear where you stand.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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