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Band 6.5

20. Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #prison #citizens #teenagers #dangers #crime
There are numerous crimes committing by the people, but Many had done by the teenagers only. These young adults need some
guidance
 about the result after committing crimes. So, it can be given by the
person
 who suffer from the same and learn from it.
To begin
 with, Nowadays, Many teenagers had committed crimes because of aggression, jealousy and many more reasons. Due to these activities, young adults are ruining their lives and become a criminal.
In addition
, some parents are ignoring their children and busy with their work.
Further
, These children raise with independence and with bad behaviour, and
then
 they make a huge mistake called a crime. So, Young adults needed a
guidance
 from the best
person
. For the better
guidance
, The prisoners, who become good citizens later can give good
advice
 to the teenagers to stop committing crimes. These people can tell about their experience in crimes and
also
, what are the consequences occur afterwards. By
this
, there will be reduced rate in crimes done by the teenagers.
However
, the people who were a prisoner, should be a good
person
 to give
advice
.
Further
, the advise should be effective and give a good example to young adults.
Hence
, the prisoners who are good citizens now, can give better
advice
 to the teenagers. In my opinion, young adults need a
guidance
 for their future and for their best lives. The people who had been prisoners a long time ago, can give an effective talk to the teenagers and give them a better path to make their careers. To sum up, Many believe that it is not good to give a chance to the prisoners who are a good citizen now, for talk to teenagers. But if, the
advice
 given to someone, it can be given from the
person
 who had experienced that moment. They can explain them very effectively.
Submitted by neha patel on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • prisoners
  • rehabilitation
  • recidivism
  • consequences
  • insights
  • deterrent
  • guidance
  • support
  • role models
  • positive change
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