Some people belive that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

A few individuals think that the best way to have a successful career is by studying at educational institutions, like universities and colleges but others believe that it is better to get money earlier by getting a job after school. Both views have their valid points, as many well-paying and respected professions require a university degree,
while
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earning money at an early age can bring a sense of independence and financial stability , and the essay will discuss them before presenting my own opinion. On the one hand, attending university can open doors to many well-paid and respected jobs.
That is
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to say, professions
such
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as law, medicine, engineering and academia typically require extensive formal education and specialized knowledge.
For example
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,the statistics all around the world have shown that 79% of rich people have graduated from institutions .
On the other hand
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,entering the workforce directly after high school allows individuals to start earning money right away, which can be important for those people who need to support themselves financially.
Additionally
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, by working early, society can learn valuable skills that cannot be taught in a classroom,
such
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as problem-solving, communication and time management.
For instance
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, in Turkey, the government offers students two options for a successful future after 8th grade. The first option is to practice from 8th to 12th grade and, after graduating from school, work in the chosen profession. The second option is to graduate from 12th grade, take an exam, and based on the scores, enter an academy. In conclusion, both education and early employment offer benefits. In my opinion, attending
educational
Correct article usage
an educational
show examples
institution is a better option for most people, as it provides a stronger foundation for long-term career growth and stability.

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task achievement
Try to enhance the supporting points in your paragraphs with clearer explanations and more detailed examples. This will help solidify your expressions.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to add more transitional phrases to improve the flow of your ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
The introduction presents both sides of the argument clearly and states your opinion, which is a strong starting point.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic well and includes relevant examples which enhance your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • higher education
  • employability
  • networking opportunities
  • internships
  • earning potential
  • practical experience
  • academic qualifications
  • skills and experience
  • work ethic
  • vocational training
  • successful careers
  • traditional academic environments
  • entrepreneurship
  • real-world work settings
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