In order to be successful at a sport, some think you must be physically strong while others believe mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Although

some people believe that a great number of people must have physical power for success in sport, others assert that mental

strength

plays a significant role in achieving success. In my opinion, I consider that people who want to win in sports events have excellent physical power.

First

of all, physical

strength

is needed to improve by sportsman every day for getting

first

place in the Olympiads and I agree.

This

means that athletes who want to obtain the gold medal should increase running, stretching and

quick

Suggestion

quicker

For example

, Russian sportsmen who participate in sports events

such

as Olympiad always have big physical power. Without physical

strength

, many people do not achieve excellent results in different sports activities

that is

why they train every day in the gym.

This

means that reaching the result in sport can depend on of the physical

strength

of sports people.

On the other hand

, many people think that mental

strength

can help in gaining success in sport.

Suggestion

other words, many sportsmen know how to

focusing

Suggestion

focus

and concentrating on their victory under competitors.

For instance

, people who

have concentrate

Suggestion

have concentrated

mental

strength

they do not pay attention to the different provocation of competitors. Without mental

strength

, many sportsmen cannot find

new decision

Suggestion

the new decision

in reaching results in sports activities.

Thus

, mental

strength

helps in a stressful situation and adopts decision. In conclusion, while people may vary in their opinions, I think that physical

strength

is an important part of winning

match

Suggestion

a match

of sportsmen and reaching excellent results in special sports events.

Submitted by Julia on Tue Jul 28 2020

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

256 words

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Overall Band Score

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Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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