Students in some countries leave school without good understanding of how to manage their money. What do you think are the reasons? What are the solutions to this problem?

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It is true that most

students

have been managing their finances incorrectly after graduation. There are a variety of possible reasons for

this

while

steps can definitely be taken to tackle the problem. In my view, several main factors are to blame for young people’s lack of capacity for money management.

Firstly

, financial literacy is generally not included in the curriculum. Leaving only

students

majoring in business-related disciplines with the opportunity to learn about finance.

Secondly

, some

students

from low-income families may have limited exposure to commercial concepts and practical experience. Some parents do not pay attention to their children's financial management ability, they may encounter some financial frauds.

Finally

, there is a lack of opportunities for graduates to apply financial knowledge in real situations.

Students

’ lack of ability to manage expenditures can certainly be improved. My suggestion is to make financial courses a mandatory part of the university curriculum.

Students

should learn how to manage their living expenses effectively until they are able to set up their own financial allocation on

yearly

Correct article usage

a yearly

show examples

basis after graduation.

Also

, implement hands-on workshops and real case studies for

students

to practice money management, and use related applications and online tools to make learning interactive and engaging. At the same time, it is recommended to provide clubs and

after extra school

Correct your spelling

after-school

show examples

programs that focus on business education and entrepreneurship, enabling

students

to fully comprehend concepts from real-life cases. In conclusion, a

rage

Correct your spelling

range

show examples

of measures can be taken to tackle the problems so that

students

better manage their money in the future.

Submitted by 842623369 on Sat Jul 08 2023

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task achievement

To improve task response, consider including more specific examples or case studies that illustrate the points more vividly. For instance, providing an example of a country where financial literacy is part of the curriculum could strengthen the argument.

coherence cohesion

To further enhance coherence and cohesion, use more transition words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly. For example, phrases like 'for instance,' 'moreover,' and 'on the other hand' can make the essay more fluid.

coherence cohesion

Avoid repetitive words and phrases where possible. Using synonyms or rephrasing sentences can make the essay more engaging and varied in vocabulary.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which makes it easily readable.

coherence cohesion

The main points are supported with logical reasoning, offering a comprehensive view of the problem and solutions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

257 words

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Students in some countries leave school without good understanding of how to manage their money. What do you think are the reasons? What are the solutions to this problem?

Fully explain your ideas

Health services are a basic necessity. However, private companies have made them quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages?

Some people believe that reading stories from a book is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Convenience foods will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods and tradition methods of food preparation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In recent years, many governments have brought in laws to ban smoking in public places, such as bars, restaurents and offices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with banning smoking in public places?

Many people believe that educational standards have declined in recent times, particularly in area of literacy and numeracy. Discuss the causes of this problem and offer some possible solutions to it.