These days it is much easier for many people to travel to different countries for tourism than in the past. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, travelling abroad is more common among
people
than in the past. For many countries, it has brought a better economy,
while
some have suffered from losing their custom.
This
essay discusses the positives and negatives of
tourism
and draws some conclusions. On the one hand,
tourism
can be beneficial to the economy because tourists not only bring money to their destination, but
also
they produce and enhance many jobs. In my local city,
for instance
, there is a well-known tourist attraction that has made the local
people
build some accommodation and recruit many local individuals.
Moreover
, it can be a fantastic way to show your culture and traditions to the world.
Olympics
Correct article usage
The Olympics
show examples
and the World Cup are two great examples of
this
effect, and many countries try to indicate their customs in these events.
On the other hand
,
tourism
can be harmful to the environment because many
people
do not care enough and hurt the jungles and seas by putting litter. In recent years,
for example
, the Caspian Sea has been polluted
due to
tourism
.
Furthermore
, many cultures can be affected by
tourism
and
people
may lose their traditions. Clearly, tourists bring their culture to their destinations and they can significantly change local
people
’s culture. In conclusion,
although
tourism
can be a great way to show your traditions and
also
have a positive influence on economic conditions, it can be harmful to the natural environment and traditional values. From my point of view, the merits of
tourism
outweigh the drawbacks if the government and local
people
are aware of the consequences and have a plan for
this
issue.
Submitted by Shahdadi.m76 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single idea. The essay does a good job of presenting both sides but might benefit from more linked phrases to guide the reader smoothly through the points.
task achievement
In terms of task response, while the essay covers the main points, it can be improved by providing a more balanced evaluation of the advantages and disadvantages. Perhaps elaborating more on how governments and locals can mitigate the disadvantages would strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured and clearly present the main argument.
task achievement
The essay includes relevant specific examples that illustrate the main points effectively.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: