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More and more work is being carried out by machines in all areas of our lives. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development? Discuss with appropriate examples.

#work #machines #areas #lives #development
It is clearly evident that technological
devices
 have replaced most of the work in our daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. There are negative
as well as
 positive impacts on
this
 issue. Advantages include usage of
this
 space for something productive and more family or leisure
time
. The negative impact on our life is lack of physical exercise and opinion.
Invention
Add an article
The invention
show examples
 of technological
devices
 has benefitted humankind in different ways, right from our kitchens to working sites.
Firstly
, as most of the jobs
for
Add the comma(s)
, for
show examples
 instance, gathering information, making tea etc. Has been done by machines,
people
Correct word choice
and people
show examples
 utilize
this
time
 to increase various skills within them
such
 as learning a language.
Secondly
, pupils would get sufficient
time
 for family occasions.
Additionally
, they would be able to spend more
time
 with their children
for
Add the comma(s)
, for
show examples
 example, going for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
dinner or lunch with the family.
This
 would strengthen the family structure and give room for enjoyment.
However
, these gadgets
also
 have certain serious drawbacks in both physical and social aspects. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teenagers now spend their free
time
 clicking on phones and updating themselves on social media for several hours. Unfortunately,
this
 would pave the way for serious health problems, namely obesity and cardiac arrest. Children and growing individuals would
also
 lack critical thinking and
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
 skills since most of their chores are done by the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
.
Moreover
, they would lack concentration which would affect their academic grades. In conclusion, technological
devices
 serve a better life to us, but fully depending on these machines and
devices
 would affect us mentally and physically.
Submitted by vinu_vmv on

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Content
Improve the clarity and relevance of the examples used to support your points.
Content
Make sure to fully address all aspects of the task and include a balanced discussion of the advantages and disadvantages of using technological devices.
Structure
Your essay structure is somewhat unclear and the development of ideas lacks coherence. Ensure that your ideas flow logically and are clearly connected throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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