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Band 6.5

Prison is the best punishment for criminals Do you what agree or disagree ?

#prison #punishment #criminals
I completely agree that jail is the most punishment for offenders, whereas penitentiary sentence should include human rights and with becoming them well-behaviour, giving them knowledge in some sector which government needs during their jailing. People have various attitudes of the penitentiary, but I believe that in our contemporary life to save our normal society we need a jail to reduce crime.
However it
Accept comma addition
However, it
 has to include human rights in confinement colonies. As we know in a lot of prisons offenders' constitution rights are broken it leads to a consequence
such
 as stabbing, killing one another. Criminals can’t refer to somewhere or somebody for helping to save their life,
hence
 the government should allow them to use phones for only red lines to call the organizations as human rights. At the same time the organization must give feedback to save their life and isolate them to another place.
On the other hand
, ministry ought to provide to offenders some works which belong to state and direct them to some religious training. It means that if offenders work during the confinement term they can earn money for their neediness
furthermore it
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furthermore, it
 will help them after their lockup penalty in the future. Another interesting point is that giving them religious training play vital role reeducation and leads to penance about their crime. To sum up, offenders during their lockup sentence are made impossible conclusion of their self because they feel withdrawn and can’t meet friends, family members. For the reasons mentioned above in my point of view criminals become more well-behaviour without threat after jail.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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