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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people are of the opinion that there should be a car-free day once every month, on which no private vehicle are allowed on the road. discuss the advantages and possible disadvantages.

#people #car-free #month #vehicle #road
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A number of individuals assert that private
vehicles
 should not be operated on the road for at least one day each month.There are numerous benefits,
such
 as a pollution-free environment,less noise on the roads
as well as
 fewer accidents as the
people
 follow
this
 above statement.
However
,they gain inconvenience
as well as
 uncomfortable experiences
while
 using public transportation
instead
 of their own cars. There are a number of pros to celebrating a day by
people
 without using their own
vehicles
 on the roads.The prime reason is to reduce pollution,which results in changes in the climate
as well as
 generates environmental issues.
For instance
,every hour, thousands of cars are running on the road and carbon monoxide is released,which leads to global warming.
Hence
,
this
 gas can be declined, if the masses stop using private
vehicles
 on the roads twice a month.
Moreover
,noise pollution can be reduced, which is spread
due to
 the numerous horns, that are honked on the road by
car
 owners.Sometimes,accidents happen as there is a lot of rush on the way.
For example
,In Ropar,India,I observed that 99% of
people
, who suffered from an accident, had their own vehicle .
However
,time management can suffer as
people
 stop using their own
vehicles
.
Also
,they have to wait for public transportation and do not reach their desired destination.For exemplify,my husband doesn't have a
car
 and he takes a bus daily to reach his work he wastes 2 hours on the bus daily,but his friend has a
car
 and the same route is covered by his friend within 25 minutes with his own
car
.That showed how my husband's friend saved his precious time
while
 driving his own
car
.
To conclude
,
although
, the
car
 provides a comfortable as well time convenient journey,
people
 should use it for long distances.
Therefore
,environmental issues
such
 as global warming and climate change should be mitigated to reduce the use of private
vehicles
.
Submitted by kamalkaur.er on

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grammar
Improve grammar and punctuation. Ensure correct usage of articles and conjunctions.
support
Expand on some points with further details or examples. Clarify how public transportation is inconvenient.
coherence
Revise the thesis statement to directly answer the prompt. Currently lacks clarity.
introduction
The introduction clearly states the topic for discussion.
support
Good use of subpoints and examples to support main ideas.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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