Some people think that cultural traditions may be destroyed when they are used as money-making traditions aimed at tourists. Others, however, believe that it is the only way to save these traditions. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #traditions #tourists

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There is an opinion that when people use cultural

traditions

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as a way to make money, these

traditions

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will be destroyed.

However

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, other people think that it is the best way to preserve cultural

traditions

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. In my opinion, both views are true for certain reasons. On the one hand, the expansion of cultural tourism has some clear effects. First of all, the

traditions

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have to change a lot to accommodate tourism, making it lose its cultural and historical values.

For example

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, many historical locations have been rebuilt and changed a lot for commercial purposes so that these places lose their original beauty.

Additionally

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, the increase in visitors has a negative impact on the environment and surrounding accommodations' lives.

For instance

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, many destinations are polluted and trash is thrown carelessly because of the poor awareness of many tourists.

On the other hand

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, there are several reasons to prove that making money from cultural

traditions

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is the best way to save it.

First,

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the increase in the number of tourists can make a fund to protect and develop these

traditions

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. If

this

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fund didn't exist, the government would have to spend a lot of money for protection purposes.

Moreover

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, when visitors experience the

traditions

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, they can help advertise that beauty to more and more people. Tourists can share with their friends about the cultural

traditions

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that they have experienced, thereby helping to spread and preserve ancient values. In conclusion, it is hard to decide which view is correct so the government should think carefully before making any decision about the tourism industry

Submitted by ieltswritingpracticedl on Fri Sep 20 2024

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task achievement

Consider expanding the conclusion slightly to reinforce your main points and give your essay a stronger ending.

coherence cohesion

Try to vary your sentence structures and avoid repetition of terms like 'cultural traditions' which are used quite frequently throughout the essay.

task achievement

Your essay provides a balanced discussion of both views and answers the topic thoroughly.

coherence cohesion

Transition words and phrases are used effectively to guide the reader through your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

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Some people think that cultural traditions may be destroyed when they are used as money-making traditions aimed at tourists. Others, however, believe that it is the only way to save these traditions. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

It is more important to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that living in big cities is becoming more difficult. Others say that it is getting easier. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.

These days, many countries show interest in space exploration. What are the advantages and disadvantages of space exploration?

Some people think that certain old buildings are more worth preserving than other ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?