Some people think art such as sculpture and music cannot improve the quality of people’s lives so the government should not spend money on them but on health and defence. What is your opinion?

Some people believe that the
government
should allocate
expenese
amounts paid for goods and services that may be currently tax deductible (as opposed to capital expenditures)
expenses
experience
in
health
care
and the
health
prevention and no longer to spend money on
art
and
music
, because they think these things can not
optumize
make optimal; get the most out of; use best
optimize
optimise
our quality life. In
this
essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument and give my own point of view. In the wake of
aging population
Suggestion
an aging population
and low birth rates, many countries are experiencing their
health
care
issue.
For example
, many
patient
Suggestion
patients
are waiting
Suggestion
wait
have been waiting
the medical service for a long time, especially some
patient
Suggestion
patients
need to wait a year above for a specialist.
Therefore
,
government
Suggestion
the government
should allocate more expenditure in the public
health
.
This
can improve the
health
care
facilities and to increase the number of medical
professional
Suggestion
professionals
.
Addictionally
Suggestion
Additionally
Educationally
, the
health
prevention is
also
important,
this
can make people
more healthy
Suggestion
healthier
.
For instance
,
government
Suggestion
the government
should promote some video for
health
care
information and make
more educational advertisement
Suggestion
a more educational advertisement
,
such
as to encourage people do sports or having nutritious diets.
This
can help to decrease the pressure of the medical system. On the other hands,
art
and
music
are
also
important for our quality life. Listening to
music
and enjoy to draw a picture can improve our
metal
involving the mind or an intellectual process
mental
health
. The best example is you can
listening
Suggestion
listen
to some relaxing
music
to make yourself clam, happy and become less stiff.
This
can edify our mind.
Moreover
, some artist
go
Suggestion
goes
to
art
gallary
spectators at a golf or tennis match
galleries
to gain inspiration to refresh their mind. When they can get some of the sudden good idea, it may activate their creation.
This
means we can enjoy something new in
art
or
music
. In conclusion,
although
art
and
music
can release our stress and inspire our mind.
However
, I strongly believe that the
health
care
issue is the biggest problem and it has been causing a significant pressure on our medical system,
thus
,
this
issue should be a priority to
duel
act on verbally or in some form of artistic expression
deal
with by
government
make up the large expenses of the proportion.
Submitted by yeahkubi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural capital
  • therapeutic
  • well-being
  • creativity
  • critical thinking
  • stimulate local economies
  • national pride
  • heritage
  • symbolic
  • freedom of expression
  • cultural diversity
  • tangible benefits
  • beacon of resilience
  • diplomatic tools
  • promoting peace
What to do next:
Look at other essays: