IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#time #population #countries #adults #people #situation
Many countries,
such
 as Japan and Italy, contains a considerably higher proportion of elderly people while other regions in Asia and some Western countries are highly populated with young people. It is undeniable that, Youth can contribute more in the present growth of the country which will be discussed in detail here.
To begin
 with, Young people are more energetic, dynamic and can contribute to the production and job sectors of the community which have very high impact on the economic expansion.
Moreover
, they are almost free from superstition and many unnecessary traditional beliefs which can sometimes become the resistance in the improvement of community and nation.
Furthermore
, they are very fast learner and can easily master the new technological advances.
On the contrary
, senior citizens and children are highly dependant on the salary of the young generation. Children are the future of the nation while elderly people have already contributed to the advancement of the society, but the youth can make a significant impact on the social and financial growth of the countries at present. Youth can
also
 play the huge role in the political body of the region. The ideas and techniques of achieving the right paths are much more flexible, free and innovative. The contribution of older people,
however
, is
also
 very invaluable. They already played very important role in the development of the community. They have vast experience and historical knowledge which can be useful in the decision making process. The tax they have paid their entire life made a huge difference in the growth. To conclude, older people should not be considered a burden for the country,
however
, the young have more to contribute to the society and the nation as a whole.
This
 is why it is more beneficial for a country to have an active workforce than dependent senior citizens.
Submitted by Niki Mehta on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • innovation
  • skilled labor
  • social development
  • technology
  • dividend
  • competition
  • resources
  • social welfare
  • unrest
  • instability
  • healthcare
  • elderly care
What to do next:
Look at other essays: