IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 9

Compare the advantages and disadvantages of three of the following as media for communicating and information. State which you consider to be the most effective - comics - Books - radio - television - film - theatre Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experiance.

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Without any doubt, in the present century, we have access to numerous technologies, through which we communicate and get
information
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. Some of them are
books
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, radio and films.
However
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, including the large number of ,benefits these have a few drawbacks as well.
Books
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 are the traditional way of transferring
information
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, still in schools, teachers are using
books
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 to teach the students as it is affordable, and one of the convenient methods through which learners can mark and concentrate on their studies. Just take an example, undergraduate can take internet assistance during their projects, but they still prefer to visit the library and read
books
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. Because
books
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 provide reliable
information
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 and contain a mixture of knowledge.
In contrast
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. The production of printed work is not easy as papers are manufactured from trees.
Moreover
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, it needs a proper way of storage, if we place it in a moist or rainy environment it will destroy its quality. Radio and film are the favourites of the old and young generations respectively. Radio assists us in times when we are out of the Internet. It helps us refresh old memories.
Due to
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 only audio features, the younger generation tends to audio-visual devices like television or films. The prominent advantage of films is they provide colourful views and help better in learning if somebody does not like reading
books
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.
Conversely
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, it contains some sexual content that spoils society.
Thus
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, the crime rates are getting increased
such
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 as rape, murder etcetera. In conclusion, even though widespread technology provides access to vast
information
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 owing to its volatile nature, we cannot completely trust it.
Therefore
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, I think that
books
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 are a source of trustworthy
information
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, as they connect us to the traditional and cultural values of some societies, that are missing on the Internet.

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Technical Detail
Be mindful of spacing around punctuation marks to ensure optimal readability.
Language Use
Continue using a mix of complex sentence structures and vocabulary to enrich your writing.
Structural Improvement
When introducing comparisons or contrasts, explicitly indicating this with phrases like 'on the other hand' or 'in comparison' can enhance clarity.
Content Depth
Incorporate a variety of examples and evidence to support your points for a more persuasive argument.
Content Balance
Effective use of a balanced argument, weighing both sides of each media type.
Structure
Clear structure with introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Personal Insight
Inclusion of personal viewpoint, enriching the discussion.
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