In many countries, young people are granted certain privileges, and responsibilities at the age of sixteen. Clearly parents have a responsibility to both care for and prepare their children as they approach this important milestone To what degree should parents intervene in the lives of their 14-15 year-old children?
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Many
people
try to involve their children
in work
when they grow up. At the age
of sixteen, some of the children
start to do tasks or responsibilities to help their families. Some families think that children
should not be involved in work
. However
, some of them think that responsibilities must be learned at a young age
.
On the one hand, learning to do tasks and responsibilities at a young age
has benefits to
the Change preposition
for
person
when they grow up. To elaborate, the person
who learned to do things when he/she was at a young age
has better success in work
life. Namely, parents should give information about taking responsibility. In spite
of that helps the person
's future life. Moreover
, children
who had siblings when they grew up, have better preparation for adulthood. In spite
of their having to help them by doing something.
On the other hand
, grown-ups think that teams should not be involved in doing tasks or jobs if they are forced to do the work
. Besides
, teenagers that start to work
in mechanical jobs sometimes they
are forced to do the thing that they don't want. In Correct pronoun usage
apply
spite
of this
, some people
have a trauma of working. Additionally
, in recent years job accidents have increased in spite
of workers who didn't have enough knowledge of work
.
In conclusion, some groups of people
think that achieving knowledge of something at a younger age
has benefits for the person
. However
, some people
think that it is harmful to children
to work
. However
, my view is that accomplishing knowledge always affects the person
in a positive way.Submitted by mcqueensever
on
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task achievement
To address the topic fully, ensure all parts of the question are discussed, and maintain focus on the parents' role rather than just working responsibilities.
task achievement
Provide specific examples or data to better illustrate the argument, especially regarding the benefits or drawbacks of early responsibilities.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by ensuring that ideas logically flow into each other, and use more transitional phrases.
coherence cohesion
Enhance cohesion by clearly linking all ideas back to the central topic, ensuring each paragraph effectively ties into your thesis.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the argument well.
task achievement
You have addressed the main issue of preparing children for responsibility, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.
task achievement
You've made an effort to present both sides of the issue, showing a balanced approach.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.