IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

#people #exercise #time #health
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Most of the people have a hectic
work
Use synonyms
 schedule at current times.
As a result
Linking Words
, they do not tend to exercise in their free
Use synonyms
time which
Accept comma addition
time, which
 leads to many health issues. Due to the lack of
time
Use synonyms
, people spend their
time
Use synonyms
 after
work
Use synonyms
 in personal joy or with the family. Educating about
time
Use synonyms
 management can really motivate working people to perform the physical activities. To embark with, the main reason for people not performing physical activities is due to the workload and a shortage of
time
Use synonyms
. People get stressed and tired of the
work
Use synonyms
 to that extent that they are reluctant to perform any other activity when they reach home.
For instance
Linking Words
, individuals perform their best in the office, which makes them exhausted at the end of the day.
Moreover
Linking Words
, since they are spending most of their day at
work
Use synonyms
, there is not really much
time
Use synonyms
 left to play any outdoor game or exercise. So, individuals are not willing to perform any physical activity due to the mental stress and less
time
Use synonyms
. Despite of these reasons, there are ample of people who are really active in sports because of the interest and proper management of
time
Use synonyms
. The prime solution to motivate people for exercising is to develop interest amongst them. The personality development courses and workout attracting commercials by the celebrities can definitely boost up the number of people performing exercises. To illustrate, people follow the famous personalities and their actions.
Besides
Linking Words
, efficient
time
Use synonyms
 management can be helpful to utilise some hours for the sports after job.
Finally
Linking Words
, the motivation and managing
work
Use synonyms
 life balance can incline the frequency of people working out. To conclude, people are super busy with their workloads and life events due to which they show less interest in playing sports or performing exercises. Convincing and engaging them with personal development can increase the number of healthy people.
Submitted by harpreet on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Time constraints
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Passive leisure activities
  • Workplace wellness programs
  • Active commuting
  • Subsidized
  • Public awareness
  • Health benefits
  • Incentivizing
  • Accessible public spaces
What to do next:
Look at other essays: