Some people think governments should care more about elderly while others think they should focus on investing in education for younger people. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #governments #care #focus #education

People have different opinions about how the government should distribute his funds. While some feel that a large amount of money should be spent on taking care of senior citizens, others

conversely

believe that educating youngsters

Suggestion

are

more important, so

this

sector needs more finance.

This

essay will discuss both arguments and explain why I feel more funding is necessary for young people's education. Those who advocate elderly people's funding argue that it is difficult to survive in old

age

for humans.

In other words

, retirement from the job, increase in health issues, and family negligence are some pervasive problems senior citizens face, which makes their lives arduous. In India,

for instance

, the majority of old citizens got impacted by COVID-19, and the situation became more critical because most of them were not only homeless but

also

without any monetary support.

Therefore

, as the citizens of the country, those people rely on financial support from their government. Others,

however

, myself included, feel that educating youngsters is more essential. If people get

efficient education

Suggestion

an efficient education

at an early

age

, it will reward them with a high paid salary, which helps them to secure enough money later

for

Suggestion

life.

In addition

high

Suggestion

higher

income means they can pay higher tax which the government can return them in the form of various policies and services.

For example

, the USA applies a considerable amount of tax on its citizens and, in return, at a particular

age

, takes care of all of them by providing monthly payments. Overall, older people can take care of themselves if, at an early

age

, they would take proper education and pay tax. In conclusion,

although

cutting elderly

people funding

Accept comma addition

people, funding

would create many problems in their lives, I believe if more funds

are invested

Suggestion

invest

in their studies, they can make a better future, which will ultimately support them in their later ages.

Submitted by chavanpranay1994 on Thu Aug 13 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

310 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages ?
Technologies have been ever-changing in the 21st century, and children use new technologies in their leisure time more often than in the past. I believe that the disadvantages outwigh the advantages in this situation.
4.5
band
Some people say that the best way to improve health is by increasing the number of health facilities.Others,However,say that this woud have little effect on public health and that other measure are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
A certain community belive that the most efficient way to improve health is to increase the amount of health facilities. Othe people, on the other hand, think that thi strategy would have close to no effect on overall health and that we should prioratise different measures. In this essay, i will discuss both of these opinions and give my own point of view.
4
band
World would be better place if more women were in leadership positions . To what extent you agree or disagree .
A person in a leadership seat should have all the qualities like knowledge , experience , emotions and so on . Some people argue that if more females were leaders then the world will be better as compared to now . I partially agree with the given statement .
6
band
some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of higher school programmes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It has been noticed that a few individuals have a notion that volunteer work should be mandatory in the school's curriculums. I strongly opine for this viewpoint. My preference is justified with valid reasons and appropriate examples.
8.5
band
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children thi message?
In some communities, young people are told that they are able to get whatever they want if they put in enough effort. I opine the bright sight of this idea is growing diligent and positive kids, however, wasting their time and real talent while putting energy into something impossible is the downside.

Some people think governments should care more about elderly while others think they should focus on investing in education for younger people. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages ?

Some people say that the best way to improve health is by increasing the number of health facilities.Others,However,say that this woud have little effect on public health and that other measure are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

World would be better place if more women were in leadership positions . To what extent you agree or disagree .

some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of higher school programmes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children thi message?