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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In some societies, the number of crimes committed by teenagers is growing. Some people think that regardless of age, teenagers who commit major crimes should receive adult punishment. To what extent do you agree?

#societies #crimes #teenagers #people #age #adult #punishment
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Adolescent crime is increasingly becoming a common phenomenon in several countries. While it is believed by many that irrespective of how old they are, young offenders should be made to pay fully for their actions, others think
otherwise
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. I believe that teens who have the courage to become criminals should be able to face the consequences.
Firstly
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, several adolescents have the mental capacity of adults.
In other words
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,
although
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 the law recognizes them as children, they already have a mind of their own, and make certain decisions for themselves. I am certain that these mini-adults understand and enjoy social vices, believing the law is in their favour. An example is a 15 year old, who intentionally killed his classmate over a failed drug deal, with the assumption that he would not be given an adult sentence.
This
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, in my opinion,
further
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 encourages these young ones to do more evil.
In addition
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, giving teenage offenders, major prison sentences, serve as a deterrent to intending young criminals.
This
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 means that, other teenage boys and girls may avoid doing wrong because of the fear of spending their life in jail, as well as capital punishment. I was opportuned to meet a boy of 14 years in India, who claimed to have raped over 20 women. Despite the gravity of
this
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 offence, he was only given a 2 year sentence. Eventually, he completed his term and continued to partake in more atrocities. The reverse would have been the case, if he was made to pay dearly for what he did.
Hence
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, the rate at which people offended would drastically reduce if young offenders served similar time as adults. In conclusion, many communities experience a rising rate of crime among children of ages 13 to 17. I am totally inclined towards punishing them for their bad behaviour, as you would, an adult.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • juvenile delinquency
  • criminal behavior
  • rehabilitation
  • recidivism
  • adolescent development
  • retribution
  • impulse control
  • the justice system
  • societal influences
  • environmental factors
  • juvenile justice
  • punitive measures
  • adult incarceration
  • youth crime
  • reformative programs
  • deterrence
  • mitigating circumstances
  • restorative justice
  • correctional facilities
  • peer pressure
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