IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people think that male leaders always lead us to violence and conflict, but female leaders are better than male leaders to gives the better governed and more peaceful society. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #leaders #violence #conflict #society
History has shown us that the male leaders of countries tend to lean towards the side of war when resolving conflicts. Women are seen as a more peaceful alternative when it comes to leadership. I totally disagree with
this
 point of view based on two highly specific reasons. In general, wars and conflicts in history are not depending on the leader’s gender, it is associated with the desire of human being.
For example
, the industrial revolution in the 18th century in European demanded a huge number of cheap labours, materials and fuels. So that European leaders at
this
 time decided to conquer East-South Asia, where met all their requirements for the economic development of their countries. All in all, I would argue that those decisions are definitely not a product of the personality traits of a leader, but a reflection of the perspectives of various people and groups involved.
On the other hand
, there is no guarantee that if a woman leads a country or a society, they are better to govern and maintain peace. The former leader of Myanmar, as an example, is a woman.
Although
 she was granted the honourable Nobel Peace Prize, the regulations of her government fired the religious conflicts between Buddhism and Muslim communities.
Therefore
, the large number of ethnic people was killed, lost their homes and became refugees. In conclusion, I strongly believe that women do not hold the key to world peace, what we need is government leaders who could implement feasible policies to cease hostilities.
Submitted by chirido.hanabusa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: