IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Students today can easily access information online, so libraries are no longer necessary. Do you agree or disagree?

#students #access #information #libraries
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Students are currently able to acquire
information
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 on the
Internet
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 in a much easier way than in the past.
While
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 I accept that online
sources
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 of
information
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 have advantages over traditional
libraries
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, I would argue that there is still a great need for
libraries
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 in today's world. It is true that accessing
information
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 online has several clear benefits. The first one is that online
sources
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 can store a huge amount of
information
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that is
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 greater than any physical library.
This
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 allows researchers to easily get the
information
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 they need without having to travel to a local library.
Furthermore
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, students can look for
information
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 on the
Internet
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 whenever they want,
while
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 most
libraries
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 can only be visited
during
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for
show examples
 several hours per day.
As a result
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, it might be better for those who are busy to utilise online
information
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sources
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.
However
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, I believe that physical
libraries
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 still have special features that online
sources
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 can never replace.
Firstly
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,
libraries
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 usually provide quiet areas, which is a great environment for students to learn and research since they are less likely to be distracted by things around them.
For example
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, some of my university friends claim that they can only concentrate when they are in a quiet study area in my university library.
Secondly
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, since everyone can easily write and post
information
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 on the
Internet
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, these online
sources
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 are not always reliable for research.
Therefore
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, we need
libraries
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 whose staff members have the responsibility to select and provide readers with the most credible materials. In conclusion,
while
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 I agree that there are great benefits
of
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to
show examples
 getting
information
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 on the
Internet
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, I disagree with the idea that traditional
libraries
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 are no longer important.
Submitted by Andy on

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task response
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task question and presents a well-structured argument. However, consider providing more specific examples to support your points and fully address the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a good logical structure with well-connected ideas. To further improve coherence and cohesion, use more transitional phrases to link your ideas and enhance the overall flow of the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessible information
  • online databases
  • e-books
  • educational websites
  • community centers
  • physical books
  • literacy programs
  • peer-reviewed resources
  • misleading information
  • digital divide
  • high-speed internet
  • underprivileged communities
  • custodians of culture
  • archival material
  • conducive environment
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