IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that cities should be designed to be beautiful rather than functional. Do you agree?

#people #cities
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Public opinion about the purpose of urban planning always changes. Today, the viewpoint that the functional side should be sacrificed for urban aesthetics is increasing in popularity. In my opinion,
city
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 planning has to combine both of them. On the one hand, the aesthetic appeal of a
city
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 is important for the local economy and
mental
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the mental
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 well-being of
residents
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. Well-designed areas promote tourism that brings money into the treasury of a
city
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. That boosts the local economy, funds infrastructure, and increases the wealth of
residents
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, at the same time. Ljubljana is a small
city
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 in Slovenia. The population is about 300,000 people. Despite
this
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 fact, 1 million tourists visit the
city
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 every year. The
city
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 is well known for its green parks and streets, old gabled buildings, and delicious cuisine. The environment plays a crucial part in mental well-being. It is evident that attractive
cities
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 affect positively on mental conditions of
residents
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.
For instance
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, Copenhagen is
in
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on
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a
Correct article usage
the
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top-list
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top list
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 of the most beautiful
cities
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 in Europe.
Another
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Other
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 researchers report that the
residents
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 of the
city
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 in the top of mental well-being.
Thus
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, design has an important role in the lives of
cities
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.
On the other hand
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, functional design is important to make daily life more comfortable and easier. The daily routine of people consists of the way to work, school, or home, shopping, visiting medical
centers
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centres
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, government agencies, and entertainment.
Hence
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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urban planning should provide how to avoid overpopulation,
offer
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and offer
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 comfortable housing, transportation, and easy and fast access to basic facilities. Singapore is an example that successfully decided the conflict between design and functionality.
Due to
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 smart management of the
city
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’s
development
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development,
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 Singapore is one safest
place
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places
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 in Asia. It attracts many expats, who note the high level of security, excellent healthcare and education. At the same time, there is a wide range of beautiful places that attract people from the whole world. In conclusion,
cities
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 should mix both aesthetical appeal and practicality. They promote tourism, increase
wealth
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the wealth
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 of
residents
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, and boost mental health.
Additionally
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, well-planned
cities
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 help get
of
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rid of
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 urban challenges
such
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 as population density, transportation, and healthcare.
Submitted by shebanovsergey938 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure every paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea you will discuss. This makes your argument structure clearer and helps the reader understand your points more easily.
task achievement
Develop your examples further by explaining how they specifically support your argument. While you've chosen strong examples (Ljubljana, Copenhagen, Singapore), diving deeper into the mechanism of how aesthetics or functionality impact those cities' successes would enhance your argument's persuasive power.
task achievement
For higher scores, balance your essay by addressing potential counterarguments. Incorporating these shows critical thinking and a deeper understanding of the topic. After presenting a counterargument, you can refute it or explain why your original point still stands, which strengthens your position.
general
Review your essay for minor grammatical errors and aim to vary your sentence structures. While your grammar is mostly strong, occasional errors can slightly distract from the message. Diverse sentence structures can make your writing more engaging and dynamic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban aesthetics
  • promoting tourism
  • boosting local economies
  • enhancing residents' quality of life
  • mental well-being
  • functional design
  • urban challenges
  • population density
  • transportation
  • housing
  • conflict between beauty and functionality
  • urban planning
  • aesthetic appeal
  • practicality
  • case studies
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