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Writing Samples
Band 6

The government should sometimes infringe on people's freedom for the security of society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#government #people #freedom #security #society
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It is a common belief that the government must not permeate to intrude people’s privacy.
However
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, I strongly believe that people‘s freedom should be sometimes infringed by government in order to protect
dwellers
Suggestion
the dwellers
 from danger and make sure that
safety
Use synonyms
 regulations are followed.
First
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 of all, it is an indisputable fact that the intruding upon individual liberties is acceptable because it means to shield people from danger. Since the beginning of the 21st century, a very stable climb has been witnessed in the crime rate, which goes with an extensive diversity of risks. Not only they threaten to people’s
life but
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life, but
 they
also
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 have a negative impact on the entire society.
Therefore
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, it is vitally important that government attempt to promote public
safety
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.
For example
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, in Vietnam, there is a command that the traffic police can force the drivers to stop and check what they are bringing.
This
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 seems intrusive at times, but only by doing
that can
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that, can
 they control the risks.
Furthermore
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, interceding people's freedom right is to ensure the
safety
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 regulations are adequately followed. Without proper
safety
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 precautions, people in certain jobs can easily threaten the lives of a large number of other people if they do not act safely and responsibly enough. Take an instance of pilots and bus drivers, they must undergo a series of medical tests periodically. The explanation for
this
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 is that they have to fly or drive a large number of passengers daily so they may put their passengers’ lives in jeopardy because of their health problems. In conclusion, the government’s intrusion on citizens’ private lives is meant to protect people from dangerous situations and to make sure that people are abiding
safety
Use synonyms
 regulations. For the mentioned reasons, I once again reaffirm my position that governments should be allowed to infringe on the freedom of their people to guarantee society’s
safety
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Andy on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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