some people think that in the mordern world we are more dependent on each other. Others argue that people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In the contemporary era, opinions diverge on whether societal
interdependence
has intensified or if individuals have grown more self-reliant. Proponents of increased interdependence
argue that globalization, technological advancements, and interconnected economies have fostered a greater reliance on one another. This
perspective contends that the modern world
, characterized by rapid communication and global trade, necessitates collaborative efforts for societal progress.
On the contrary
, advocates for heightened independence assert that technological innovations, such
as personal devices and online platforms, empower individuals to navigate the world
autonomously. The ability to access vast amounts of information independently and conduct various tasks without direct reliance on others is seen as evidence of growing self-sufficiency. Moreover
, some argue that individualism is fostered by a culture that encourages personal expression and autonomy.
In my opinion, the truth lies in a nuanced synthesis of these perspectives. While
technological advancements have undeniably increased individual capacities, the complexity of global challenges requires collective solutions. Interdependence
is not antithetical to independence; rather, they coexist in a dynamic balance. In the face of global issues like climate change and pandemics, collaborative efforts are imperative, demonstrating that the modern world
demands both individual resilience and collective cooperation.
In conclusion, the discourse surrounding societal dynamics in the modern world
reflects a tension between interdependence
and independence. Striking a balance between individual empowerment and collaborative endeavors
is crucial for addressing the multifaceted challenges of our interconnected global society.Change the spelling
endeavours
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure there is a logical progression of ideas. Transition words or phrases can help guide the reader through your argument more smoothly. While your essay demonstrates coherence overall, enhancing the connective elements between paragraphs would benefit overall clarity.
coherence cohesion
Introductions and conclusions are essential components of a well-structured essay. Your essay's introduction and conclusion are present and well-formulated, framing your discussion effectively. Maintain this level of clarity and conciseness in your future essays.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each main point is supported by specific details and examples. While your essay provides a good amount of support for the presented ideas, incorporating more varied and detailed examples could further strengthen your argument. Try to use real-world instances to exemplify abstract ideas.
task achievement
For task achievement, address all parts of the task thoroughly to ensure a complete response. Your essay addresses the primary question and offers a personal opinion, but give equal attention to discussing both views to fully satisfy the task.
task achievement
To achieve clear and comprehensive ideas, use precise language and fully develop arguments within paragraphs. While your essay contains clear ideas, expanding and explaining them further would enhance their comprehensiveness. Make sure each point is substantial and fully explored.
task achievement
Examples provided should be relevant and specific to the topic to support the argument effectively. Try to draw on a wider range of examples, including factual information, statistical data, or case studies to add depth to your points and make them more persuasive.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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