Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

As people rely more and more on social media, there exists a debate about whether the impact on both individuals and society is negative or not.From my perspective, I am inclined to stand neutrally with the opinion since the development generates not only demerits but
also
advantages to daily life.
Initially
, one of the main arguments in favour of social networking sites is that they connect users around the world and make information spread rapidly and conveniently.
For example
, users can know people from different regions easily through social media which enhances connections between strangers.
Moreover
, there are multiple sources of news and information on social networking sites because no matter who the person is can share opinions through them which enriches society through creativity and communication between various thinking and cultures.
According to
the aforementioned, social networks indeed bring about improvements to the public and society. At the other end of the spectrum, there are potential risks hidden behind the tendency.
For instance
, it will be hard to distinguish the truth as individuals are stimulated by numerous messages every day. When they do not have enough patience to absorb all the information they receive, they are prone to be misguided by misleading news which will contribute to social bias.
In addition
, it can be a challenge to social security when strangers have more opportunities to contact each other.
Thus
, the risks behind the development cannot be ignored.
To sum up
, despite the trend is inevitable, its drawbacks and merits have considerably affected people's lives.
Hence
, citizens need to properly use social networking sites so as to optimally enjoy their conveniences and reduce the possibilities of dangerous situations to the best.
Submitted by s99104032 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, aim for more sophisticated linking phrases to enhance the flow between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Consider providing clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to enhance task response and coherence.
task achievement
Including a more varied range of vocabulary related to the topic could enhance the overall impression of the essay.
task achievement
Enhance your examples by providing more specific, real-world instances to support your arguments. This will make your essay more persuasive and grounded.
task achievement
Your essay presents a well-thought stance on the topic, showing a balanced view of both the positive and negative impacts of social networking sites.
coherence cohesion
Your organization of paragraphs is logical, with a clear introduction, development of ideas, and conclusion, which aids the reader's understanding.
task achievement
You successfully incorporate relevant examples to back up your points, helping to make your arguments more compelling.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • social isolation
  • virtual interactions
  • mental health
  • feelings of inadequacy
  • anxiety
  • depression
  • misinformation
  • destabilize
  • privacy concerns
  • data breaches
  • productivity
  • foster connections
  • educational content
  • social activism
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