Young people who commit crimes should be treated in the same way as adults who commit crimes. To what extent do you agree or disagree

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In the contemporary world, a hugely-popular issue of juvenile delinquency has never failed to attract citizens’ attention. It is thought that immature humans who break the law should be punished as same as mature individuals
.
Accept space
.
From my perspective, I totally disagree with the statement.
Firstly
Linking Words
, we should not treat juvenile criminals and adult ones the same, because a majority of those children are not educated sufficiently or correctly in schools.
In other words
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, in these days, schools
have focusing
Suggestion
have been focusing
are focusing
have focused
were focusing
are focussing
have focussed
extremely on academic knowledge,
such
Linking Words
as maths or physics without teaching students about morality and philosophy.
As a result
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, those pupils are not able to distinguish whether what they do is right or wrong. Taking Vietnamese young student as an example for that, most of the minor crimes have been caused by the youths who do not receive a good education in schools.
Secondly
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, the reason why we ought not to give a fair punishment between youngsters and adults who have anti-social
behaviors
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
is those juvenile criminals have been affected negatively by the social media,
such
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as Facebook or
Youtube
Suggestion
YouTube
. In the modern life, an increasing number of young individuals use social networking websites and they are likely to be captivated by sensations stories and breaking news which relate to violence.
Consequently
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, those people tend to imitate those illegal actions.
For instance
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, young citizens will fight their classmates or even commit a murder if they watch or read excessively violent topics
on
Suggestion
in
the social media. In conclusion, there are two main reasons why juvenile criminals are mature ones should not be punished the same.
Submitted by Andy on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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