IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Gap between rich and poor countries. It's the responsibility of richer countries to support poorer countries while others think it's the responsibility of poorer countries. what is your opinion?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays,there are financial disparities between developed and developing
countries
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 some developed
countries
Use synonyms
 have made an attempt to loosen economic situations in third-world
countries
Use synonyms
 by providing financial support,some people argue that
this
Linking Words
 action alone cannot solve their complex problems.From my perspective,I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement for various reasons which will be described in the following paragraphs. Some people indicate that in order to tackle
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
,considering the root-cause analysis and solving at the base of the
problem
Use synonyms
 will be more beneficial in the long run.Throwing away money cannot solve
this
Linking Words
 endless
problem
Use synonyms
 causing more reliance on developed
countries
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
,The main reasons for the economic problems in poorer
countries
Use synonyms
 are a lack of education and financial inequalities between the prosperous and the poverty in the
countries
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,people who live in some remote areas not only do they unreceived basic public utilities but
also
Linking Words
 access to medical services.
That is
Linking Words
 to say,education is
also
Linking Words
 impossible to obtain.Without knowledge,
countries
Use synonyms
 cannot progress and develop.
Additionally
Linking Words
,the wealthy population in the
countries
Use synonyms
 are limited. Many experts suggest solutions to solve
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
 require multisections cooperation between developed
countries
Use synonyms
 and developing
countries
Use synonyms
 themselves.
For instance
Linking Words
,developed
countries
Use synonyms
 can assist those
countries
Use synonyms
 in expanding educational knowledge including innovation and technology resulting in developing
countries
Use synonyms
 being able to survive on their own.
Also
Linking Words
,those
countries
Use synonyms
 need to broaden their educational opportunities to rural areas. In conclusion,Expecting to relieve
countries
Use synonyms
' financial burden by sending money is a shallow thought.The governments should analyze
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
 on a deeper level by promoting and spreading out education which leads to the
countries
Use synonyms
' development in a long-term period.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Work on developing paragraphs with topic sentences that clearly indicate the main point and supporting details that elaborate on and explain these points in a structured manner.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to illustrate your points. Examples that are more detailed will add clarity and support to your essay.
task achievement
Clarify your ideas and make sure each paragraph has a clear purpose to support your overall argument.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and provide a good start and end to your essay.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the topic, with a clear stance on the issue presented.
task achievement
You have successfully identified the importance of education and financial inequality as root causes in poorer countries.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economic disparity
  • International cooperation
  • Financial assistance
  • Technology transfer
  • Capacity building
  • Dependency
  • Sovereignty
  • Moral obligation
  • Exploitation
  • Strategic interests
  • Good governance
  • Anti-corruption
  • Institutions
  • Foreign aid
  • Fair trade
  • Trade barriers
  • Sustainable development goals
  • Global stability
What to do next:
Look at other essays: