IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people like to own the place where they live, but other people like to rent where they live. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In the contemporary world, certain individuals are interested in having their own house,
while
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 others prefer to hire. For me, it depends mostly on a person’s choice, especially the way of life. In
this
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 essay, I shall discuss both points of view and give reasons in order to prove my perspective.
To begin
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 with, people who like to possess the place where they live are mainly stable in their personal and professional lives. Their jobs, families, relatives and friends are usually in the same region, they have permanent positions, high salaries at the workplace and they can afford to buy a home.
For example
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, the study done by the Ministry of Labor and Social Protection in Singapore in 2012 showed that 68.2% of employees who had secure careers and fixed incomes in any city bought accommodation for themselves.
On the other hand
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, several human beings do not want to purchase a home and because of their occupation, they are temporarily assigned to work in different foreign countries by their company or the government. In that case, investing in property in any city is not interesting for them,
instead
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, they save money for travel, entertainment, food and for their children’s future.
For instance
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, 75% of the expatriates who took part in research conducted by 10 international companies in 2010 said that they did not have a house, because their employer provided them with the location. In conclusion, the lifestyle of people and indirectly their occupation affect the decision of having or leasing a place to live.

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task achievement
Provide more elaboration on why individuals prefer owning or renting, potentially adding more examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Add transitional phrases to improve the flow between points for greater coherence.
coherence cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion, outlining both views and your perspective effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, making it easy to follow your line of thought.
task achievement
You include relevant examples to support your main points, showing a good understanding of the topic.
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