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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many countries invest money to prepare competitors to join top competitions, the Olympics or the World Cup. Therefore, it is necessary to offer money to encourage children to exercise more? To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #money #competitors #competitions #olympics #world #cup #offer #children #exercise
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Sporting achievements in global events, like the Olympics or the World Cup, are sources of national pride and as
such
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, most countries expend significant capital to help prepare athletes for
such
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 events.
Consequently
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, there are some people who are of the opinion that additional monetary compensation should be given to children to motivate them to exercise more.
This
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 is not necessary and should not be implemented.
Firstly
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, exercises are good for one's body and most importantly, participating in sports and games are excellent team building activities. Team sports are all about a group of individuals working towards a common goal.
Such
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 life lessons are highly beneficial for everyone.
For example
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, a recent study in the UK shows that children who participate in sports are more social and lead a healthier life.
This
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 should encourage children.
Secondly
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, many governments have already established many benefits for student-athletes.
This
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 includes free sporting and training camps as well as full scholarships for qualified students.
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for
Suggestion
For
 instance, All universities in the US have a certain number of scholarships that could be availed by children based on their sporting achievements.
This
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 shows that there are existing, established financial benefits for children that should stimulate them.
Finally
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, successful athletes do receive financial benefits from governments as a token for their achievements.
For example
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, In Singapore, Olympic winners could get up to one hundred thousand dollar cash bonus. In Conclusion, Students already have enough perks to entice them to do more exercise to be a better sports person and an additional financial inducement is not required.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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