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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people say that playing games can be bad for children. Others say that playing computer games can have positive effects on the way children develop. Discuss both views and give your

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It is true in the present era,whether
computer
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games
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 are considered harmful things for
children
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 or not has sparked much debate.Some people assert that it is dangerous for kids,
whereas
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 many others argue that these
games
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 are promoted personally by their
children
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.
This
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 essay will delve into the phenomenon,by supporting relevant examples and insights . On the one hand,playing
computer
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games
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 can have several benefits for
children
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.First of all , it can learn skills and education in their life To illustrate more,many educational
games
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 assist
children
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 in learning concepts in sciences and arts .A study published at the University of Nizwa shows that 85% of
children
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 have become more intelligent by playing technological
games
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 .
Thus
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,
this
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 is motivational for the mental skills of kids to discover new abilities.
On the other hand
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, addiction to
computer
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games
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 is one of the problems that can affect
children
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 .To demonstrate more,some
children
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 spend a lot of time with these toys so they sit alone without doing outdoor activities . The Omani Educational Association indicated most people who play
computer
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games
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 have less physical activity and influence social relatives As a sequence, they suffer from obesity . In conclusion,I am convinced that playing
computer
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games
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 has positive and negative effects so I advise you to balance playing these
games
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 and doing outdoor activities with your family.
However
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, the outcomes are not limited to people only but
also
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 have a profound impact on the community.
Therefore
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, the government should build more clubs with various physical and mental activities .

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task achievement
Refine your thesis statement to clearly present your position on the topic. Instead of stating that the essay will delve into both views, mention the specific aspects you will discuss regarding the pros and cons of computer games.
coherence and cohesion
Consider adding more organizational elements, such as clear topic sentences for each paragraph that reflect the main idea of the paragraph. This helps guide the reader through the essay.
task achievement
Provide more detailed examples or case studies that illustrate your points about the positive and negative effects of computer games. This will enhance the relevance and depth of your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction effectively presents the general debate surrounding computer games and sets the stage for discussion.
task achievement
You successfully identify both the positive and negative effects of playing computer games, showcasing a balanced view on the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • addiction
  • productive activities
  • excessive gaming
  • detrimental effects
  • physical health
  • obesity
  • poor posture
  • eye strain
  • desensitize
  • aggressive behavior
  • antisocial attitudes
  • cognitive skills
  • problem-solving
  • hand-eye coordination
  • multitasking
  • educational games
  • interactive tools
  • engaging and fun
  • reinforcing academic knowledge
  • multiplayer
  • social skills
  • teamwork
  • communication
  • cooperation
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